Safety Scissors: REBOOT

Chapter Nine: Work Harder, Always.

The next day was like every other, another day, another grind, you worked, and worked, and worked yourself more throughout the week, the only reprieve being your texts to Jade herself, and your midnight binge-reads. 

Nobody seemed to pay attention to you as you sat silently, your only friends in the school looking at you with concern, you had had a problem with a bully, but you quickly scared them off with your dead glare, and Jade, who stood right behind you to scare them off by baring her teeth. 

You kept working, this week an essay was due, and you had to get it done soon, or else the procrastination would set in. Most of the time, you just sat in the back of the class, fidgeting erratically while trying to pay attention through the haze of sleep. 

Another day, another day of taking care of your mother, who practically worked herself to death to keep up with the expensive bills of the area, you weren't rich, and you weren't poor, but it seemed day by day, you barely saw her anymore. You barely saw your mother, and when you did, she was asleep, with multiple empty mugs scattered around her, and her face flat on the table in front of her work laptop.

It hurt, to see how she worked herself so hard, while you did nothing but run up the light bill, and even then, it felt selfish to hurt, because she worked so hard. You had felt this way for a long time, feeling selfish for wanting her company, and useless because you barely bought any money in, due to the fact that you were too afraid to start posting your works on social media platforms. It felt terrible, feeling useless, while running yourself through the ringer, just to find that you were mentally awake enough to read all night, but not to work on the things that seemed most important at the moment. 

It was like you were your own critic, criticizing yourself on the most minute of actions, demanding perfection, and yelling at yourself for things that seemed harmless. You didn't allow yourself to slow down, you couldn't allow yourself to stop and think about anything other than work. You put yourself down, because that's what seemed right, because you thought you deserved it, and even the calls to Jade, just to even ask a question about the latest assignment in your shared script-writing class, seemed like a burden. You were a burden, to yourself, and nobody else, and you were your own worst enemy.

But, as if your guardian angel themself was watching over you, you and Jade got stuck together on a group project, that involved staying the entire weekend together, because, of course, the sky decided to be a vengeful bitch and rain hard enough to cause a flood warning.