Whirlwind | W.M.

24

Silence is the loudest sound.

It's overused and cheesy, but it's true. You never understand just how uneasy it can be, how terrifying the lack of noise truly is. First, your ears begin to ring and you think it only gets louder and louder— like your head is going to pop. Then your thoughts begin to flood, that voice in your head that kicks in to ease the incessant ringing and you're left wondering what's worse, feeling like your head is a balloon that keeps expanding or feeling like you're going crazy.

But sometimes, when reality is bad enough— insanity becomes attractive. What most people fear, becomes a paradise of escape. When reality means walls closing in and chest caving, going insane sounds like a dream. Anything to keep you from feeling the truth, that the life you're living is nothing but cruel and desperate— or in my case, non-negotiable.

When you lose the luxury of choice, everything becomes dull, meaningless, like every path you take isn't your own but merely forced upon you by fate. By a story that has an ending that was already written and laid out, no deviance, no liberty— just illusion. Living feels like a chore, and when you realize the resentment, the guilt seeps in. The thought that a lot of people wish for more time while people like me, people who don't want it are stuck.

I must have spent hours in that room, Lara and I just sitting in deafening silence until my bones began to ache and my limbs began to numb. The only thing that really got me up and out, was the relentless grumbling of my stomach. I hadn't eaten a bite since lunch the day prior, and it was really taking a toll.

As I step into the elevators, Tony's words instantly echo in my head. I just had a rough day and I wasn't too thrilled by the thought of heading to the cafeteria and choking down another sandwich that tasted like cardboard— but the prospect of stepping into the dinner exhausted me just by the mere thought.

I chose neither.

I still had a few apples left in my room, some crackers to go with it. It wasn't like i'd die– ironically. So I press the button for my floor, slumping back against the wall in a tired breath as I wait for the elevator to open. The moment it does, instead of a clear path, i'm blocked by a black suit and a smug smile that only makes my irritation spike.

"You're relentless." I groan as Tony flashes me a big smile, stepping inside and wasting no time in getting the doors closed.

"I simply want to make amends. I'm turning over a new leaf— god, that still sounds disgustingly cliche." He chuckles to himself, tapping a button that I assume corresponds to where his dinner is held.

"Look, I was upset and kind of drunk that night and maybe... I said things I shouldn't have." He begins with a small, subtly begrudged sigh.

"You're really going to make me say it? Come on." He whines, looking at me through his glasses as I only raise a brow, folding my arms over my chest as he releases a tired breath.

"I'm sorry." He finally says, looking like the words were foreign on his tongue as he bites back a look of uneasiness.

Apology was one thing I never knew Tony Stark was capable of, amongst other things. As uncomfortable as he looked, the fact that he took the time to come find me— to say it, was something I wasn't going to discredit. I look back at him silently, eyes tracing over his face as he returns my gaze expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

"You were right." I mumble, watching his brows furrow as he tilts his head like he wasn't sure of what he just heard.

"You were an asshole, but you said what most people think of me. At least you said it to my face." I sigh, turning ahead and tearing my eyes away from him.