Harvard College | Office of Admissions and Financial Aid
Molly Mcaan 330 W. Webster Ave.
Chicago, IL 60614
Dear Ms. McGaan:
Thank you for your interest in Harvard College.
After careful consideration of your application, I am sorry to inform you that we are unable to offer you a place in the class of 2019. This year's application pool was the strongest in the College's history, and we are unable to offer admission to every student, regardless of their proficiency in "dank memes", or their level of "Swagg moneyyyy." Although your GPA and ACT scores were certainly up to our standards, your essay raised some eyebrows at the admission meetings. For future reference, it is not wise to start an essay with the words, " listen here u little slanks" and end with " McGaan out *drops mic*" We also didn't need a copy of your mixtape, regardless of how "fire" it is (one admissions counselor actually listened to it, and we are pretty sure 40 minutes of you making animal noises is not "fire"). In addition, we will be returning your copy of Grownups 2 signed by Chancellor Angela Merkel, because you said it's your "greatest possession" and we don't want it. We also suggest obtaining recommendation letters from teachers or trusted mentors, not "my #4 side ho Derek" or Chief Keef, who submitted a picture of a dinosaur drawn in crayon on a rolling paper.
We greatly appreciate you interest in Harvard, and we offer our best wishes of success as you pursue your educational goals.
Sincerely,
William R. Fitzsimmons
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid
YOU ARE READING
Book Of Jokes
HumorI CAN'T TAKE THIS LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE FRIDGE, YOU'RE COMING TO MY ROOM Jokes that may or may not make you laugh or smile at 2am
