Winter Bear || TaeJin [Completed]

57. Hard To Say I'm Sorry

#Warning:
-Mature Content
-Angst

Third Person’s P.O.V.

“I messed up bad Jimin…ugh…why did I have to say such stupid stuff!” Jin sat holding his head in his hands “I don’t even know what I’m going to do…he just walked out just like that, came back hours later and no calls…not a single text…no explanations…I don’t get why he can be like this…this is the reason it’s so difficult to talk to him…I have no idea what he could do…” he was utterly troubled at the moment, had already spent the entire morning cursing at himself and overthinking on the matter and torturing his head with thoughts about how wrong things had gone all of a sudden although at the back of his mind he too knew that this would probably happen once they’d start being in a real relationship.

It was inevitable that they’d have to go through their differences…all that time they had spent needing the other…this was only the beginning of learning that to love was to be strong as well as weak…together.

“I just want this-this stress to go away…I can’t take this, it’s hard to breathe when he talks like that…god he looked so angry Jimin…he just grabbed the car keys and walked out…Soo was crying at the top of her lungs and that didn’t make him turn back once! What do I do…I-I…I’m so confused…” Jin gulped to himself before speaking into the phone again “I know he didn’t mean it when he said he’d kill Kook…but I don’t know why I feel scared…”

“I bet he’s just as troubled Jin” Jimin spoke with a soft sigh as he realised that both Jin and Tae were suffering from the same symptoms of keeping things to themselves, believing that would make the issues go away and save each other from pain but the truth was they were yet to understand that it never works like that. Unexpressed emotions always come out…and most of the times they end up taking uglier shapes.

“Why don’t you try opening up to him?”

“Did you not hear all of what I just said?! That’s what I tried to do yesterday…but he’s stuck on that one point…I get it…I get how it’s hard for him to accept Kook as one among us but-” “No…it’s hard for him to accept to see you accepting Kook as one among us…he doesn’t trust Kook, and he can’t seem to be able to accept the fact that you do…” Jimin’s voice was soft as he tried to let Jin see what he was missing “Jin imagine his situation right now…he knows he’s not been there for you, feels guilty about it, worse he has watch Jungkook be more important to his daughter than him…and call it childish he wishes at least you’d be on his side and favour him more…Taehyung’s spitefulness is rising because you seem to be taking Jungkook’s side when he believes you are supposed to take his side…”

Jin gulped to himself, as he tried to let the words sink in before he spoke again.

“He wants me to hate Kook but won’t try to understand why I am dependent on him…why doesn’t he get it that I watched him murder people and love him still…it was the same thing with Kook…I forgave him…how do I explain this to him Jimin?” Jin sighed, pulling at his hairs as he felt the heaviness in his heart growing to levels that made breathing often troublesome for him. He seemed to be missing the fact again that to Taehyung, he had killed criminals to save people…and Jungkook had killed people to side with criminals…it’s the reason Taehyung felt so degraded to be called the same as Jungkook.

“Talk to him without having a fight…and open up to him, it’s time you have to begin trusting him Jin-” “But I do trust him-” “Trust that he will hold you if you break before him…you owe it to him…he did the same before you Jin…he chose to be vulnerable before you…”

“If I say all the truths Jimin…it will sound like I am blaming him, I’d feel so selfish doing that when I don’t really blame him…I know he blames himself for too much already…it’s so complicated…I don’t know how to deal with this…” Jin’s voice got lower till it was only a whisper “I don’t like seeing him feel guilty…”