Winter Bear || TaeJin [Completed]

18. Seesaw

Seokjin's P. O. V. 

When I woke up in the morning in an empty bed and a lonely room, last night felt like nothing but a dream and it would have been so if not for his blood stained clothes in the laundry hamper and my head full of worries.

Taehyung must have left early, and as I lay staring at the ceiling and feeling giddy thinking about the memories of him ardently holding onto me and kiss me that little knot of longing overpowered my senses making me feel super morose and awfully lonely.

I wish I could actually help you...

I cannot just sit back and accept that all I have to offer is that I am here for him, words must always be backed by actions, right? I had helped him find safety once, cannot I try doing that again? If he is important to me it is on me to ensure to help him find a way to get away from the thing he hates right?

How do I get him away from Axel? From death and violence when he has surrounded himself with it willfully? But he did it to keep us safe, why must he be the only one getting tormented then?

I dragged my fingers over the side of the bed he had slept in, wishing to catch a bit of his lingering essence there, just a bit of his warmth, his caring touch or that smile he hides away so severely.

I promise I'm going to find a way to keep that smile on your lips...

My eyes went to the laundry hamper again where a corner of his bloody shirt has been peeking out and suddenly my stomach retched thinking how he must have beaten up  and made someone bleed, does such rage and cruelty deserve love?

Although he had done that under pressure but it was with his own hands he had hurt someone to the brink of death!

Am I taking his status of being an assassin and a wanted criminal too lightly?

A flash of his pained eyes, the desperation in his actions to make himself feel that I'm there for him and his silent wails to make me believe in him gripped my heart and I got lost yet again in my zeal to help him.

But how do I help you? How do I prove that you have been forced to be part of Axel? An unwilling aid those vile psychopaths have trapped to take the blame of their dirty crimes!

I beat my legs in frustration and pushed off the blanket to the ground to get up. Why are things always so hard for us?! Why can't we be just like normal people? Have normal dates and be with each other like normal people do?!

I too want flowers and chocolates and cuddles just like normal people trying to date, but my fucked up fate just can't get it right!!

I walk up to my closet and pull open the doors planning to shower and change, grabbed a pair of black sweatpants and a loose grey hoodie but just before I was about to shut it my eyes caught on the top left shelf where the camera Taehyung had given me sat hopefully, as if waiting for me to put it to some use again. And almost instantly a crazy idea took over my head as I watched the device with my mouth agape.

Maybe I could prove his innocence if I can film him being forced to hurt someone by Axel, show the officials  that he is but a puppet in the hands of those terrorists. It could work right? And he won't have to do this anymore, he could just walk away from all this if the public believes in him. The officials would help him out of this mess right?

Throughout the shower all I could think of was how I was going to keep track of Axel's whereabouts. I definitely cannot ask Tae about it because I know for a fact that he won't let me try my idea if he learns about it. So nope, not telling him.