Winter Bear || TaeJin [Completed]

40. Here Without You

Seokjin’s P.O.V.

Week 1 since Taehyung left...

The apartment feels odd, I keep hearing his deep affectionate tone calling me from time to time, hovering about me as I tried to keep busy, fighting my best not to give in to the instinct to flop onto the floor and simply wail out my anger and pain but he asked me to be brave, again, said it’s the last time he’s leaving me to fight through this alone, said he’ll come back and give me all that I could demand from him...but now that he is gone it’s just too silent here and I feel like I am scattering to pieces all over again.

Hopefully he’ll be back to piece me together...I don’t want this to be our end, I deny to believe that he might not be allowed to find me ever again.

I understand why Taehyung doesn’t want me to go to visit him, the media are going to target me and the long lost secret of me helping him out of the headquarters might get revealed. Things could most definitely go berserk if that happens. Dr. Min’s assistant had been declared dead that time, it would create a lot of commotion and that could most definitely hamper Tae’s chances of proving innocent.

Namjoon says the situation is still in our favour, Hoseok says he will be out in no time, Kook says he’s struggling playing both the parts of being bad and staying good in the prison.

Fiddling with black and white isn’t always as easy as playing dice, since the human heart unlike those little lifeless cubes doesn’t realize where to limit the black dots, the mind sickly indulging in the grays of the soul...not realizing when the little dark dot has gobbled up all the white.

I know what to believe, I know whom to trust but I only fear for his heart...I hope they don’t succeed in making him believe that he’s guilty, because I could see seas of guilt and shame in his eyes every time I told him he was innocent.

He needs to believe it himself before they make sure the world sees it.
“It wasn’t your fault...” I can’t seem to think of anything else but how wrong things have been for him, to be put through such a fate must be a punishment worse than death itself “your life has been a tragedy of consequences”. 

Week 2 since Taehyung left...

“I can’t do that Jin” “Oh come on! I just told you I haven’t slept for the past week!”

I am really pissed and frustrated with everything around...everything makes me angry, everything looks messed up...

“How did that interview go? The one you were thinking about..” “I didn’t go-didn’t feel like it” I crossed my arms over my chest, snapping my head away from him as rage still bubbled within.

“You know you’re being stupid right?” “Just give me those damn sleeping pills will you?!”  

He shook his head dismissing my words, walking away from me out of his cabin without even bothering that I was still standing there.

“Yoongs!” The anger in my voice was slowly turning into a desperate plea.

“I can’t sleep...I c-can’t sle-ep” I felt the words clogging my throat as a sob build there “I-I can’t..can’t do anyth-thing...”

He slowly turned around “sleeping pills aren’t a solution to that, you know better than this”

I felt lines of tears run down my heated cheeks as I dug my teeth on my lip to keep them from quivering.

“I am not sure about anything anymore...” I mumbled under my breath, utterly dejected.

I felt his eyes stay on me for awhile as he silently stood there before sighing and checking his pager.