Winter Bear || TaeJin [Completed]

42. Still With You

Jungkook’s P.O.V.

“The third hearing is in a week” Hoseok said as we sat together to plan our next move. Jin’s little emotional speech seems to have opened new byways to the trial.

“And Jin has been ushered again, to present proof of the images he had said he clicked” Hoseok’s voice turned grim at this bit. The tension was real, it has been almost a month since the last hearing but I remember vividly how panicked Jin had been, and that day how accidently I had stumbled onto the information of him being pregnant.

After we had brought him home that day, he went into panic the moment Col. Kim asked him why he had given them that information and no matter how badly he tried to pacify Jin saying he had asked him simply wanting to know if he had any particular plan in his mind and not because he thought it was wrong to do so but Jin just panicked harder. We told him he had said whatever he had felt needed, and it was the next hearing that would reveal if things were on our side or not.

For now we just have to wait, and hope for the best.

I watched Jin push his food about the plate, a pout consistently held on his lips. Something he usually does whenever he is upset but things have changed so much and he has to understand he can’t be an emotional mess anymore. We are here to help him through it, all he has to do is put his trust on us.

“Don’t skip your meals” I leaned nearer and spoke to him “you need to take care of yourself more now” trying to make him understand that now he has the responsibility to look after a life living within him.

I don't blame him for keeping the news from me, it was my fault that I had startled him to show that I had feelings for him. He must have really wanted to avoid me, it was very evident on the day we had gone to his apartment to have dinner, and I had to watch Jin intentionally be extra loving to Taehyung.

I mean, who am I to even say anything against it...but yeah the truth is I felt like shit.

He looked at me and I traced tears pricking at the edges of his eyes, I know it’s hard for him, but he has no idea how hard it is for me, although truly I want to be happy for him.

But I have a greedy wicked selfish heart.

I have been trying my best to turn away from him, keeping away as much as possible if only my heart took the hint and let him go. He has been acting guarded around me too, keeping away and it's almost embarrassing to see how awkward he is at times with me.

I knew that my feelings for him would only become a burden for both of us and I can’t really blame him for loving someone else the way I’d want him to love me. I know I can’t make him love me but I’m like the waves, hurling and crashing on my own and he’s my moon, watching my emotions with that serene gaze, knowing that I’ll forever be affected by him, that I’ll give my every ebb and flow to him, just being foolish I guess.

I don’t regret him choosing another, I don’t even regret falling for him in the first place, I like to believe that he’d have loved me if he wanted to but I don’t even blame him for not wanting to.

I just blame myself for wanting something that isn’t meant for me…but what was I supposed to do, he is someone who came without a warning, and I had lost myself to him before I even realized what had happened.

“Come on, eat up” I implored again seeing him sigh and nod without looking at me, pushing back his sobs with one short sniffle and began mechanically stuffing the food in his mouth.

Later, he fell asleep on the couch being fatigued and finally giving in to his exhaustion, while we went on with discussions about what could happen in the next hearing, what could go wrong and what we can work on to make it go right. It was easy to see how absolutely tired and troubled Jin was, draining himself out with worries of the world and fighting a war he wasn’t meant to suffer through.