Winter Bear || TaeJin [Completed]

26. Cold Mess

Taehyung's P. O. V.

There's always been a little sadness inside my happiness...

Rolling the window down I put my elbow there, letting the breeze hit my face. Everything feels so suffocating right now.

Like I left my will to breathe with him, right there by his pillow, wishing, hoping that he will keep it and someday maybe, just maybe, I will find my way to him and claim it back.

Till then I will live with this pain, a penance to pay for all the sins I have stained my soul with and the sins I am going to commit.

I chewed on my lip, my tongue grazing time and again over the cut he had left there angrily, making me smile every time I tasted a little blood. My stupid Seokjin, that edgy anger of his ended up heightening my arousal way beyond I had expected and  I couldn't stop till I had devoured him completely, until he wilted in my arms being loved too full.

I traced my thumb over the dark bruises eyeing those through the mirror, my heart glad seeing him be so possessive of me in his anger as I remembered him trying to pour his pain on me.

I am reminded instantly of his eyes, too delicate to match his words of feigned hatred for me, too innocent to realize that in trying to hold me to his heart he has been hurting himself, losing himself slowly to be engulfed by a shadow like me.

You have no idea what I have done to you Jin, how selfishly I carved a piece of your heart out just so I could give you a piece of mine

But I will make sure you live, you will live free and grow as you were supposed to, and I will burn everything down to ashes to make sure nothing of the darkness that surrounds me gets to touch you, even if I end up burning myself in it.

Axel are getting more and more desperate to keep me in chains, desperate to make me fear them, more and more cruel in their ministrations to make a monster out of me and I can't have them hurt Jin just so they could prove a point and hurt me.

I don't want to agree to it but Jungkook was right, Jin has people to protect him, I need to protect him from myself.

After I had watched Jungkook carry out of the basement I lost control over myself, ended up taking out my anger on the men trying to boss me around and tried running after him. However, I was too late and he was gone.

The next twelve hours were nothing but a painful torture.

Jin was nowhere to be found. I had hacked into his apartment only to find it ominously silent making my palpitations ramp up. Fear tore through my head as I imagined Jungkook taking him to Kai because I had denied to abide to their plans of blowing up the research compound. I fell into a fit of anxiety as terror struck at my conscience, it is because of me Jin had been dragged into this, me who had been unbothered and foolish to realize how I was compromising his safety when I decided to be selfish in my need for him. This is my war, my pain, how could I even think that I was allowed to trap him into this?

In my muddled anger and dread I had decided that if I needed I would slice the life out of Sunmi if she wouldn't tell me where her treacherous fuckface of a son had taken my Jin.

Thankfully the fuckface made it easier for me when I saw him leave the briefcase with Byun and get in his car, and although I wanted to beat the shit out of him and put a gun to his head that very moment I knew I needed to wait till I had Jin with me, safe and sound.

But that dread taught me one thing.

I failed.

I had awfully failed to ensure the one thing I had promised myself. I had failed in making sure to keep Jin away from the danger I knew I was to him. This could always happen again and could end far more worse, maybe even the worst possible way.