*** COMPLETED *** Until the World Explodes (Han Seoul-Oh)

Chapter 1: "How are you holding up?"

Get a dog. Go to school. Get a job. Redecorate the house. Move to a new house. Find someone new.

These were among the many suggestions thrown my way after Han died in that car crash one year ago. It still feels like it was just yesterday that I got the call from the hospital saying his body had been badly burned and he was killed almost instantly. I've been crying almost nonstop since I found out, and it's like nobody seems to care - except a select few.

Dom, Mia, Brian, Tej and Roman had flown out for the funeral and stayed with me a couple of days after to make sure I would be set, even though I insisted the extra three days weren't necessary. But, everyone knows how Dom is - he says family is the number one priority.

My mom flew out the day after everyone left Tokyo. She didn't like the type of people they were, and did their best to avoid them. She said that I should've expected this, given what Han had decided to do with his life. That hurt, especially coming from her. She told me to get rid of all of his stuff to help me move on faster now that I could begin a new life, but we argued for hours and finally settled on a storage unit until I was ready to officially go through it. Of course, I kept a few jackets and t-shirts that I stole from time to time when I didn't feel like dressing up. They still smelled like him, and it still brought tears to my eyes. When my mom finally left a couple of days later, I was more than relieved to be alone again.

Financially, I was set. Han came into an ass ton of money with Dom and the family a little while ago, and set some aside especially for me if anything were to happen to him. I never liked hearing him say that, but I also never thought I'd see the day where I was living without him. It was more money than I knew what to do with, but at least I had it to live off of.

The weather outside was dreary, it had been storming for almost a week straight, and it matched my mood. Dark, depressing, gloomy. Since the funeral, I hadn't been doing much of anything except laying on the couch watching reruns of Degrassi, old Disney channel shows, Drake & Josh, and a few other tv shows Han had barely heard of but I forced him to watch since I grew up with them.

The knock at the door almost caused me to scream. I wasn't expecting any visitors, and because of who Han knew and was involved with, I had no idea who to expect on the other side. Slowly, I got up and tip-toed quietly over to the door, peering through the peephole.

"Sean?" I muttered to myself as I undid the four deadbolts and three chains - extra locks Han had installed to help me feel more secure, since we weren't exactly in the safest park of Tokyo. "What are you doing here?" I asked when I finally got the door open.

"Well, hello to you, too, Audrey," Sean muttered, holding a bouquet of flowers in his outstretched hand. "Thought I'd come see how you were doing."

"Sorry, it's just...I wasn't expecting anyone, and, well, you know...I didn't know who I was going to be face to face with," I explained as I took the yellow daisies from him. "Thanks. Do you want to come in?"

He nodded and stepped inside after I moved, making himself comfortable on the couch while I redid the locks and found something to put the flowers in.

"Thanks for the flowers," I said again after I sat down on the couch opposite of him. "How are you holding up?"

"I think the better question is, how are /you/ holding up? You knew Han longer than I did," Sean said as he met my gaze after taking a long drink of water. "People think you're a mess."

I met Han through Dom unexpectedly a couple of years ago during one of Dom's family dinners. At the time, I was still living in the US with my parents, down the street from Dom and Lety, and I was still in medical school - I had dreams of being a vet that are on hold. Dom invited me to dinner that day, and I was running late because of my internship.

Fully expecting Dom to answer the door when I knocked, Han had answered it instead and it took me by surprise. We had talked all night, basically ignoring everyone else. He told me all about himself, and vice versa, told me how he went to Tokyo after the girl he was seeing had passed away and wanted to go there, and all this other stuff. We exchanged contact information, stayed in touch and started a long distance relationship while I was still in medical school, but that didn't work out after I failed one of my classes. I decided to drop out because I was under a lot of pressure, which didn't sit well with my parents. So, I took off to Tokyo in the middle of the night with one suitcase and a backpack, and I've been here ever since. Since then, though, my relationship with my parents has gotten better, but they never did approve of Han.

"They're not wrong," I laughed slightly, leaning back on the couch as I swallowed, not wanting to cry for the umpteenth time that day. "I am a mess. All I do is sit here and cry, and eat one meal a day. Everyone around me expects me to pick up my life and get a move on, but I just can't. We planned a life together. We just got engaged and were going to move someplace new, but now it's just...not going to happen."

Sean didn't break eye contact with me when I talked, and that was something I picked up about him quickly. He was an amazing listener - even if people were talking around us, he always paid attention to whoever was speaking first.

"I'm sorry," he said gently. "I know you've heard it a thousand times, but I don't know what else to say," Sean said honestly as he eyed the diamond ring on my finger - he had been there to help Han pick it out. "I knew you loved him, and he loved you until the end of time, always talking so highly of you. I lost a part of me, too. He was the first friend I made here."

I nodded, remembering how Sean didn't know anybody when he moved here to live with his dad. Han became his friend, taught him how to drift, they even lived together for a little while before I came to Tokyo. I knew this was just as hard on Sean as it was on me. At least someone understood what I was going through.

"I hate that we didn't really start talking until a couple weeks ago," Sean said, which made my eyes wander back up to his gaze. "Han was always so protective of you and looked like he was ready to kill anyone who looked your way."

I laughed, shaking my head as I remembered how protective Han was. He always kept his arm around my shoulders in public or a tight hold on my hand. He shot anyone a nasty look if they looked my way or tried to speak to me. He never told me much about his business deals because he didn't want anyone coming after me, but I knew enough and had a basic understanding.

"He had a heavy guard around me," I giggled as I held my water bottle in my hands. "It was hot, though. I'm not going to lie."

Over the next few hours, Sean and I went back and forth from watching reruns to sharing our favorite memories of Han. We went through pictures on my phone of Han and myself, and I basically gave him every detail about every photo. He shared some of his favorite memories, things they did together, and how great of a friend he was.

It was well after midnight when Sean decided to leave, and I was alone again. I relocked the door and picked up my phone, leaving the light on in the living room before strolling down the hallway to the bedroom. I started sleeping on Han's side of the bed because it faintly smelled like him still, and sometimes helped me stay asleep longer than a few hours. Slowly, I was getting better about not crying myself to sleep, but I still cried during the day. As I laid there, I looked at our old photos, smiling at how happy we were as I started to drift off to sleep.