Freddy is not GASSY

Introduction/ Johnson's Dream

Hello y'all.  I am aware that although this may be poorly written, it's a fun read.

I think you'll laugh, either at the funny story, or at the terrible writing!

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“I am GASSY.”

“I am GASSY.”

“I am GASSY.”

“We are GASSY together.”

And together they could do practically anything.  Or so their boss told them.  The president of GASSY was really quite something, he had the determination, the willpower, everything necessary for being a great president of GASSY.  IT really was a shame that he wasn’t the first guy.  The first guy was incompetent, and perhaps their approval ratings could have gone up in the first bit if it wasn’t for him messing things up and making the whole group look like fools.  Really.  IT was a shame.

     So the president today took a step back and noticed that things were looking just fine.  Tonight was a great night.  Nothing possibly could go wrong.  That was really awesome.  He looked forward to leading the company to another great leap forward.  The only problem was the person they needed quit at the last minute; he had scraped together a new job for somebody at his expense.  It was gonna get difficult.  There was nothing stopping something from going wrong except for him.  And he would.  Stop it from going wrong.  If he could.

     It was time to begin something marvelous.  Something spectacular.  And it all depended on the new guy coming in tomorrow, Freddy.

     *****

     Freddy was about to fall asleep when he heard his father call him into the living room.

     “Freddy, come into the living room.”

     Freddy went into the living room and sat down.  Tomorrow was gonna be exciting.  He didn’t know what IT had in store for him, but IT was gonna be good. 

     “Son,” said dad, “I’ve tried to persuade you to not take this job, but it hasn’t worked before, so I’m just gonna shut up.”

     “Let’s talk about your job,” said Freddy.

     “Well, let’s see,” said dad.  “Working at FAT POPPA DADDY KING’s SUPERMARKET can get kinda boring sometimes.”

     “Hmmmm… said Freddy.  “I don’t know about that.  FAT POOPA SDADDY KING”S SUPERMARKET can get interesting to for work for perhaps if you are a fat poppa.”

     “HEY DON’T SAY THAT!  Well, fine.  Tell me about your new job.”

     “It’s gonna be exciting,” said Freddy.  “I’m really gonna have a good time.”

     “What’s the position at your job gonna be?” said dad.

     “I’m gonna be a spacecraft architect,” said Freddy.

     “Well that sounds good,” laughed daddy. 

     “I know,” said Freddy.

     Freddy sighed.  He had studied for years to prepare for a job like this.  They weren’t hiring but he put in his papers anyway and he then decided to get a job at the supermarket dad worked for.  Dad really liked it there.  And he felt bad that he actually didn’t.  Freddy wanted to work at a really nice spaceship factory, like GASSY.  And when a really *BLEEP* factory wanted to hire him, he declined.  SO he worked at the market.  And even though, like he said, dad thought it was boring at times, dad knew it paid well and IT kept him and his son alive AND IT helped them get the nice sports cars to impress the ladies.  (Mom was dead.)  So that was why he was a single parent.  Nobody knew what happened to mom, other than one day, they found that she was dead, and they didn’t know what else to do but to cremate her and then tell dad that she had died.  He felt really bad about IT.  But anyway, Freddy looked forward to working the job coming up soon.  IT was gonna be really good, so he went to bed, fell asleep, and waited for the next day to come.

     *****

     Johnson, The police chief of Buoy City, downed a few beers and was getting ready for bed.  He turned on the nightlight and sat down there. 

     He went to bed and had a dream.

     Here’s how IT went:

     His assistant, Emily, and his boss, the Sherriff, were having a meeting about the robots that were plaguing the city.  Emily admitted, “You know what?”  “What?”  “These robot police were a bad idea, we should get rid of them.”  And then suddenly the entire police force of robots stormed into the room and arrested her.  “Why are you doing this?” shouted Johnson.  “Because she spoke out against the police.  That’s a criminal offense.”  “I think she’s right…” said Johnson, and then they arrested him.

     Johnson was a good man.  He woke up scared.  He often had dreams like this, and they bothered him every single time.

     A robotic voice was heard in his bedroom, which said, “Johnson, you need to switch pinky fingers with somebody tomorrow.  You’ll know when the time comes.”

     Johnson was confused, not because there weren’t supposed to be robots in his bedroom, but because nobody swaps pinky fingers ever.  It made no sense, the one source of identity of the human individual that the government used.  The left pinky finger was a mark of who you really were, your identity, your identification, everywhere.

     *****

     He went to bed again and had another dream.

     He was on a helicopter when he saw a beautiful girl, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, in this dream.  “I’m not dreaming this time,” said Johnson, and he began to follow her around on his helicopter.  The girl was very beautiful.  He really thought, this can’t be a dream again.  I don’t want this to be a dream.  He followed her around on his helicopter for a while, and suddenly his parents called him up on the glasses.  He answered.

     “Hello, Johnson,” said his parents.

     “Hello, mom and dad,” said Johnson.  “What’s going on?”

     “You’re supposed to be at work,” they said.

     “Really?” and then suddenly the robot police were following the beautiful girl.  He got really nervous, and started following the robots.  He began to zap them down.  And then the robots attacked him.

     “Why are you attacking me?” said Johnson.

     “Because she is too beautiful,” said the robots.  “You should be at work right now.”

     And then the alarm for the clock went off, which was saying, over and over, “work in ten minutes.”

     And yet again, he didn’t get to meet the girl.  This was going to be really sad.