Freddy is not GASSY

The Kind-of Rescue

The dream girl was flying, she was flying away, as fast as she could.  She needed to find out what was going on, and then she would figure out how to rescue him.  It was like those adventure novels of old, when the young girl went on an adventure and didn’t plan anything out properly.  She wasn’t gonna do that.  Instead, everything was now going to be in wisdom and order.  Nothing was not going to go according to plan.

     She asked her glasses,

     “Where is the building where Johnson is located?”

     “I don’t know.”

     That’s right, they didn’t know, because they weren’t connected to the police department yet.  But she wasn’t aware of that, we are.  We know what’s really going on.

     The dream girl asked again,

     “Where is the building for tribunals?”

     “It’s a few miles away.” And then the glasses showed a visual of exactly which skyscraper in the distance it was.

     “Sweet, brother,” and she started to fly that way.

     She flew for a while and then she reached the building.  She landed on the glass wall and perched there, waiting and thinking.

     She knew if she asked the glasses where Johnson was, the glasses wouldn’t tell her.  So what was she supposed to do?

     She waited.  For a very long time, she waited.  There was a calm before a storm.  It was about to rain outside. 

     She knew that she needed to wait until it started raining, because the robot police wouldn’t work in the rain.  So she waited for a long time. 

     She saw the Sherriff.  The Sheriff was walking up a set of stairs, towards a determined destination.  This would probably be where Johnson was. 

     She started to crawl up the wall, following him going up the stairs, like somebody in a superhero comic.  She was going to find Johnson.

     Finally, the Sheriff entered a room off of the stairs and she saw Johnson in there.

     “JOHNSON!’ she yelled.  He was bleeding pretty badly.

     He couldn’t hear her.

     She banged on the wall.  Nothing happened, it didn’t even break.

     Suddenly the wall started beeping in red lights.  The alert was on.  She had to get in somehow.  The robots were coming, and it wasn’t raining yet. 

     She flew towards the top of the building, maybe she could come in that way.  She jumped and jumped on top of the building and the roof caved through. 

     “Yes!” she was very happy.

     *****

     Johnson was confused.  He thought, “what is this ruler supposed to do, I hope it doesn’t slice my ear off, because I kind of like this ear.”

     The Sheriff laughed and asked, “What did you and Freddy talk about?”

     Johnson shouted, “I’m not going to tell you,” and thought, “about how we’re going to damage the robots.  And I’m not going to tell you that I’m Freddy in Johnson’s body.”

     “WHAT?”

     This was uncanny.  It was almost as if the Sherriff could read his thoughts.

     “I can read your thoughts,” said the Sheriff.

     “How is that possible?” asked Johnson.

     “I have a glasses sensor on the ruler,” laughed the Sheriff.

     Even though his arm was badly wounded, he jerked it up to catch the ruler.  But the Sherriff caught the thought of the ruler being catched, so he jerked the ruler out of the way just as quickly.

     “I know enough to kill you now.  Just one more question: where is your friend, Freddy?”

     “I don’t know!”

     “Well, he disappeared.  My books have never made mistakes before.  I blame you.  And soon, the ruler will blame you.”

     He put the ruler up to Johnson’s head and got, “how the *BLEEP* am I gonna tell this guy that I don’t know?”

     “OH *BLEEP*!” yelled the Sherriff.  “YOU’RE GOING CRAZY.  THE TORTURE HAS MADE YOU CRAZY!”

     “Maybe I am going crazy, maybe you should let me go!”

     “Well it is true that you’re not giving me anything conclusive.  Which means that I must kill you now.”

     “NOOOO!”

     And suddenly the dream girl knocked the Sherriff over.

     “I’m going to kill you first!” screamed the dream girl.

     “WHO ARE YOU?” they both asked simultaneously and breathlessly.

     “I am not a man!”

     “NOTAMAN!” wheezed the two of them. “Fight on!” gasped Johnson.

     Notaman (by the way, that’s not her name, but it’s going to have to do for now) punched the Sherriff in the face, and the Sherriff sliced at her thigh.  They fought for a long while, and there are moves that they used, but I don’t understand them because I am not a fighter, so I am not going to write about them.

     Suddenly when Notaman had the Sherriff with a knife, Johnson said,

     “STOP!”

     “Why shouldn’t I kill the Sherriff right now?” gasped Notaman.

     “Because he’s an innocent man!”

     “NO I’M NOT!  KILL ME NOW AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!”

     “Fine then!” And then Notaman stabbed the Sherriff.

     The books rolled down the hallway after Notaman.

     “Johnson, ever since I’ve met you, I’ve always loved you!”

     “Wait… have we met before?” He wasn’t going to argue with this warrior woman, but still!

     “Oh, um… I guess not…”  and she began feeling really sad.

     She began to walk away.

     “But, hey, wait.” Ummm… “I think I love you back!”

     “Oh really!” She gasped.  “I love you too!” She started kissing him and he started kissing her.  Kissing her was all right, he’d had a better time kissing girls before, but whatever.

     After a while of kissing and other stuff, Johnson asked, “Can you untie me?”

     “Oh, yeah, of course!” And Notaman started untying him.

     The books were approaching.  They were coming in fast.  They were a floor away. 

     Johnson tried to stand, but his legs were broken and he was experiencing a lot of pain.  He fell back down. 

     “I can’t make it,” yelped Johnson.  “You’re going to have to carry me.”

     “Anything for you!” and then Notaman had instantly picked up Johnson and flown off with him.

     As she was flying, she realized suddenly that Johnson had disappeared.  Where was he?

     And she saw a bunch of flying robots flying towards her, all with umbrellas.  She flew.