Freddy is not GASSY

Power Returns to the City

Freddy was in the other dimension for quite some time.  Finally, he was zapped out of it.

     *****

     He was in the great hall.

     “Freddy, how are you doing?”

     Freddy looked up into the eyes of a really ugly winged creature. 

     “I’m doing well, but what the *BLEEP* is going on here?  I was supposed to be fighting those books.”

     “I know,” said the creature, “but there’s some stuff you need to know.”

     “Okay, what is it?”

     The creature paused.  “It’s gonna take a long time for me to explain.  I might as well just plain explain it.”

     “Where am I?”

     “I’ll say that in a moment.  Just let me begin.

     “This is the Shouting Planet.  Your ancestors once lived here, a long time ago.  That is why you have wings.  You got your wings from us.

     “Your mother was a very ugly woman in our culture.  Nobody wanted her.  She was outcast, and banished to fend for herself on the island of Ants.  She lived there and fed on ants for her food for the longest time.  The thing is, that when you have been having a lonely time for the longest time, you want to escape, and you also get really bored.  That is what happened to your mother.”

     “Okay.”

     “Your mother eventually flew outside the bounds of the island, into the ocean.  She flew and flew, and when she could not fly, she swam.  She ate the fish of the sea, and could not rest for if she rested she would drown.”

     “Then how did she meet my dad?”

     “Patience.  The important thing was that she survived for the longest time.  The longest time.”

     “You say that a lot.”

     “Yes, I know, and that’s actually not even true.  If it was for the longest time, then how come more than one thing was the longest time?  It’s really confusing.”

     “Yeah, it is.”

     “Okay, then what do you want me to do about it?”

     “Continue telling me the story.”

     “Okay, well anyways, there was one day a helicopter that went over the ocean and found her.  It captured her, and took her away.”

     “OH SNAP.”

     “It was owned by GASSY.”

     Freddy was shocked.  This was something he didn’t want to hear. 

     “GASSY KIDNAPS ALIENS??”

     “Yes, IT does.”

     “How come,” Freddy wondered, “that whenever people say ‘it’ in the story it’s always CAPTITALIZED?”

     “It wasn’t capitalized there… or now!” said the creature.

     “Probably a typo,” said Freddy.

     “Yeah,” said the creature.  “Well, anyways, the important thing is that your mom was confused by the even uglier people on the spaceship coming home.  She was really confused, but then she realized that if these people were uglier, they must think that she is very beautiful.”