Closed Doors [#Wattys2016]

Morning

"I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort, where we overlap."- Ani DiFranco

Jena and I wake up shortly after the sun comes up the next morning. We silently make our way down to the lake to bathe before school, as we do every couple of days while the weather is still warm enough.

Smith never did come back after he had left last night, not that that's very out of the ordinary. I'm used to him sticking around long enough to hurt us and then leaving again afterwards. Sometimes he'll be gone for only an hour or so, and sometimes it can be as much as a week or three. Either way, I'm thankful for it; for any amount of time that he's away. Even if I know that whatever he's going off to do will likely result in the erratic behavior that will eventually be taken out on us in the end.

After we finish bathing in the lake, which is already starting to get slightly chilly from the incoming autumn air, we change into our school clothes and brush the wet tangles out of our hair. I braid Jena's long, blond tresses and then begin to start on my own. We haven't really spoken to each other at all this morning as we go about our normal morning routine, thinking solemnly about the hopeless situation we're in. Well, at least I know that's what I'm doing. Jena seems more desolate than normal, too, so I'm assuming it's weighing on her mind as well. I hate thinking that, though; she's far too young to be having these worries and fears upon her shoulders already.

"So... what are you going to tell Reed?" She asks quietly, almost whispering, as she breaks the silence. "About your neck?"

My hands steady on my hair, mid-braid. I release a long breath and look over at the lake in contemplation, watching the sun glimmer on the rippling surface. I have no idea what I'll tell him. Anyway, it's none of his business, and he shouldn't ask. But somehow, I know that he still will. I really hope that he doesn't, though.

I turn back to Jena and shrug. "I won't tell him anything."

I unbraid my hair again. Maybe if I keep it down today, it'll hide the cut and no one will notice my neck at all.

Jena shakes her head and frowns at me.

"Well, I think you should. I think you should tell him about Smith-"She states factually and crosses her arms as if she's defying me.

"I'm not going to," I tell her in a finalized tone. I glance at her in warning, but she's looking the other way and doesn't notice. "And you better not either, Jena. I mean it. Not a word."

"Why not? He might help," she asks sadly, turning back to me. She gently touches the light bruise on her cheek, left from Smith last night, as if to make a point.

I bite my bottom lip and avoid her eyes as I reach for my backpack.

"How exactly can he help us?" I question her rhetorically. She's about to answer anyway, so I continue before she can. "He can't, Jena. So there's no use bothering him with all of this. It's not his problem to deal with."

Not to mention, or I can't mention since I am sworn to secrecy, that he has his own problems and personal monster to contend with. If he's too scared and unwilling to do anything to improve his own situation, there's little chance he'll do anything to help with mine. Not that I'd expect him to do anything for me anyway. He's done enough as it is.

"But he's really nice-" Jena starts to argue

"And Smith is really mean," I counter before she can finish. "Your point?"

"I know Reed would try to help," she answers me with a hint of desperation in her voice. She has tears in her eyes as she practically pleads with me, "I know he would. He really likes you. And I can tell you like him, too, Danielle. Please just tell him?"