Closed Doors [#Wattys2016]

Growing Up

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

-Maria Robinson

Reed and I are in the car, on our way back into town, and on the surface of things we're interacting normally. He's holding my hand and talking to me as he usually does-saying sweet things that I really don't deserve. Yet there's a noticeable difference between us; a sort of tension in the air. It's not uncomfortable, though. It's more of a nervous anticipation. I keep having thoughts of where our relationship might eventually lead. Before tonight, my head was full of worries about rather simple things like kissing and going on a first date. Now I have to worry about much bigger things such as the future possibility of having sex with Reed and his offer of moving in with him in November. Everything is happening so suddenly, and I'm not sure how to process it all just yet.

I keep my eyes focused on the scenery going by, but every so often I glance over in his direction. Even in the dark, I can tell his face is beet red. He looks over a few times and catches me staring at him, and we both immediately avert our eyes. I know he's still kind of embarrassed about what happened to him earlier. And I'm totally mortified that he's now fully aware of how little I really know about sex. I honestly didn't even realize how limited my knowledge on the subject was before tonight. I've never had a reason to want to know more.

"Thank you," Reed says, finally breaking the silence between us as he turns into the restaurant parking lot.

"For what?" If anything, I should be thanking him for making this night so amazing and unforgettable. Despite the few awkward moments we shared, I couldn't have imagined a better first date... or anyone else I'd have rather spent it with.

I look at him curiously as he takes the keys out of the ignition and turns to me with a shrug.

"You know, for earlier." He smiles shyly and lightly runs his fingers down the length of my hair, his eyes following the movement of his hand as he does so. "For allowing yourself to feel good. For making me feel good, too. For not hiding yourself, and for trusting me. For... everything."

I don't know what to say in return, so I simply nod and chew nervously on my bottom lip. I can't seem to look him in the eye; it just feels as if it would be far too revealing if I did so. My mind keeps replaying the way it felt as his body moved in rhythm with mine, the way his firm, yet gentle hands gripped my hips and brought me closer, and how his lips and tongue indulged my breasts with pleasure I didn't even know my body was capable of.

And although I'm still not quite sure of the specifics of what happened to Reed knowing that he'd had such strong sexual feelings and reactions towards me is a little overwhelming. But if I'm being honest with myself, I felt the same way about him while it was happening. Maybe not to the same extent, but I do know that I liked the way it felt, I enjoyed the passion between us, and if he hadn't stopped things, I don't think I would have.

My face flushes deep red and I'm thankful that he can't read my thoughts. I steal another quick glance in his direction and find him studying me intently with a knowing smile on his face. It makes me feel completely self-conscious, and I abruptly look away again.

Maybe he can read my thoughts.

My breath catches in my chest as leans over and whispers into my ear, "I just want to let you know," his lips lightly graze my earlobe and his breath pleasantly tickles my skin, "that I find you incredibly sexy. You're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen-"

"I am not-" I start to object. He places a finger against my lips, and pulls back slightly to look me in the eye.

"Yes. You really are," Reed counters strongly. He cups my chin gently with his index finger and runs a thumb along my bottom lip, looking a bit mesmerized for a moment as he gazes down at my mouth. "And I'd like nothing more than to make you feel just how beautiful you are."