Closed Doors [#Wattys2016]

The First Date (Part 1)

Chapter 21

"The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you."
-Charlie Brown

I tuck Mom safely into bed, managing to get her to eat a couple of buns and drink a glass of water, before making my way to comfort Jena. After the initial shock and heartbreak of hearing such harsh words from her, I quickly regained my composure and wiped the tears away. It'll do no good for me to be weak and take her misdirected anger personally. I know that she really didn't mean anything that she said, and was merely lashing out due to the hopelessness of the situation. I can't blame her for feeling the way she does; I remember being her age and the desperation I felt as Mom was gradually slipping away from me- along with the increasing amounts of abuse from Smith, and the constant, prevailing hunger.

Jena has never known-or can't remember-a life that's different than this, though. She can't recall the comforting love of a mother and father, true security, or a happy home. I'm all she's ever had for emotional support while growing up and, even though I've tried, I know I'm not always the most affectionate person at times. I'm not perfect. And I suppose the taste of normalcy she's been experiencing lately- the safety of the restaurant and the kindness of the Parkers- makes her resentful of our horrible circumstances. I can't say that I blame her for it. I feel the same way, but I also know there isn't a quick fix for it all, either.

I walk into our bedroom and make my way over to the side of her cot. She has a cover pulled up over her head, but I can see her tiny body shaking beneath it and hear her muffled sobs. I kneel down next to her and gently pull the blanket down in order to see her face. She attempts to pull them back up, but I grip the fabric tightly in my hands. Giving up, she flips over onto her other side to avoid me. I release an exasperated sigh and soothingly rub her back as she continues to cry.

"Jena... please look at me?"

"No." She gasps for air between sobs, and her voice is hoarse and weak. "Just leave me alone, Danielle."

I shake my head and run my hand down one of her unkempt braids.

"You know I'm not going to do that," I tell her. "I'd like to leave here just as much as you, but you know why we can't, and it has nothing to do with Mom. Look, I know you're upset and you just want things to get better. I do, too. We're going to find a way out of this, I promise you. It might not be tomorrow or even next week, but it will happen, all right? Don't think I'm staying around here because I like it. You know I hate it as much as you do. Things are just really messed up and we're stuck for now. And getting Reed involved would only put him in danger; you know that. Do you want him to get hurt? I don't. I'd feel really horrible, and I know you would, too."

She doesn't say anything, but sniffles loudly and continues to sob.

Jena isn't ignorant of our circumstances. She knows exactly why we can't leave or say anything to anyone. She hears the threats given to me by Smith, and also receives them herself from time to time. She's fully aware of Crowley's corruption, too. I try to shelter her away from as much as I can to protect whatever innocence she still has, but there's only so much I can do. There isn't a whole lot I can really hide from her, and besides, hiding things would only make the situation a lot more dangerous for us.

I stand up and move around to the other side of the cot in an attempt to face her again. I bring my hand to her cheek and wipe some of the tears away. She doesn't open her eyes, though, but seems to cry harder. I kiss her tenderly on the forehead, and lightly lean my own onto hers.

"I love you more than anything in this world, Jena," I try to console her. "And I also know you really don't hate me. Mom also loves you, too, whether you want to believe it or not."