how it feels to fly | jeonglix

06

9 years ago

"Lixie... lixie wake up!"

Only hours ago, the two boys had returned from school cheering about it being the holidays, with joyous smiles and unable to stop their feet from bounding up and down the landing until Dan and Erin had had to call to them to stop, as it was only aggravating Erin's gnawing headache.

In efforts to calm their excitement, Dan had pulled them back out the front door; he cajoled them constantly until their futile attention was drawn to the bakery at the end of the road, and it turned into them pulling Dan almost off his feet. In the end, he'd agreed to buy them a chocolate cupcake each—in return for them being more collected when they finally made it back home.

They had feasted on one of their cupcakes as soon as they could, clapping their hands over the decadent taste that neither of them could get enough of. When they had a little bit left, the two boys had ran upstairs and into Dan and Erin's room, where Erin was resting in bed. They spoke quietly, barely breathing out whispers as they offered the last bite to her.

"It's okay, boys," she'd told them. "You two enjoy it."

"It's for you," Felix had demanded, placing the wrapper with cake inside on the bedside table.

Jeongin nodded. "Cake makes everything better."

At that she'd smiled and accepted their gift, giving them both a kiss on the crown of their heads before shooing them away with a fond smile.

Now, Felix groaned, his body rejecting the idea of moving and mind still in the process of coming back to. His eyes crack open, and he's met with Jeongin leaning over him, wide eyed and tearful.

He sits up. "Jeongin? What's wrong?"

"Had a scary dream..." the boy mumbles. He rubs at his drooping eyes with the heels of his hands.

Slowly, Felix hugs Jeongin, and the younger boy collapses into his embrace.

"It's okay," he whispers. "It wasn't real."

"Felt it."

It's clear Jeongin won't be able to sleep for a while, so Felix suggests the first thing he can think of. "We could go downstairs and eat that other cake! Would that make you feel better?"

Jeongin nods.

"We've got to be quiet..." he stares long and hard at the clock on his bedside, thinking hard. "I think Dan and Erin are asleep." Jeongin hums in agreement and they tip-toe towards their shared bedroom door, prising it open and stepping out onto the dark landing. Their small feet curl up against the cold floors, and Jeongin huddles tighter into Felix's shoulder; he's always hated the dark. Felix had spent years after Jeongin arrived listening to him crying himself awake every night. As the years went on it became less and less frequent, but they still have a bright nightlight plugged in just beside Jeongin's bed. Once the bulb broke half way through the night, and Felix had woken to screaming.

His hand tightens around Jeongin's, pulling him slightly faster so they could reach the bottom of the stairs quickly and turn a light on without waking anyone up.

Once in the kitchen with all the lights on, Jeongin lets go of Felix's arm and runs into the pantry, where the second cupcake was left. He brings it out with a big grin on his face—it seems he's already forgotten about his nightmare.

They sit on chairs next to each other at the table, huddled shoulder to shoulder to battle away the chills on their bare arms.

"'M sorry for waking you up Lixie..." Jeongin mumbles through a small bite of cake.

Felix shuffles closer and boops his nose against Jeongin's. "It's okay," he says. "I don't mind, and I'm also not tired." He sits up straighter and turns his attention back to the cake.

Within minutes the plate is empty, and both boys are left leaning back with happy smiles on their faces.

"Erin and Dan will be mad at us," Jeongin suddenly says.

"Only if they find out!" Felix whispers with a mischievous grin. "Let's go back upstairs."

Fate seems to be on their side that night, and they make it back up to bed with no issues. Felix walks Jeongin up first and then runs down again  to turn off all the lights.

"Do you feel better now?" he asks as he's jumping back into bed. As always after Jeongin has a nightmare, he's climbed into Felix's bed instead of his own, finding that the warmth and presence of another person protecting him is one of the only ways he can fall back asleep after being woken up by fear.

Jeongin nods enthusiastically, "Thank you Lixie." He lays down and pulls his duvet up to his chin, waiting for Felix to do the same before whispering a small, "Goodnight."

"Night Jeonginnie."

It became the onset of a weekly tradition—to sneak down in the early hours of Saturday mornings and eat a cake between them. Eventually Erin and Dan became aware, and sometimes would leave the lights on for them when they went up to bed, or not say anything when their giggling woke them up.