Deeks & Kensi one-shots

Jacket pocket

Marty Deeks hadn't gone into work in over a month. He sat at home and slept for most of the days he spent in the darkness of his apartment and each time, he'd jolt awake due to a nightmare. Every night now, the other side of his bed would be cold and empty. It was 7am in Los Angeles and Deeks sat in his living room, petting Monty who sat on his lap. Deeks stared straight ahead as his mind went straight back to the day his life plunged into sadness.

"You got this, Kens?" He asked as they were getting ready to break into a suspect's house.

It was supposed to be a routine arrest and they had expected only one suspect to be in the house and possibly armed. Kensi nodded and picked the lock before slowly moving into the house, Deeks following close behind. Out of nowhere, bullets came from everywhere. They both dove out of the way but in different directions.

"I count three of them!" Deeks yelled as loud as he could so Kensi could hear him.

He heard gunshots coming from Kensi's direction and one of the suspects fall to the floor. Suddenly, they stopped shooting. He couldn't hear anything from kensi's position and couldn't see her at all.

"Where's the other one?" Deeks heard one of the suspects ask out loud.

In a fit of anger and fear for his partner's life, Deeks got up and stood without any cover and shot the two suspects. Deeks ran over to the doorway of another room where Kensi lay motionless in a pool of her blood. Deeks crouched down next to her to see that a bullet had torn into the right side of her stomach. Deeks hurriedly pressed his hands against the wound and yelled over the comms for an ambulance which Eric quickly acknowledged.

"Kens, stay with me, okay? Please, i can't do this without you. You gotta stay with me." He pleaded. All Kensi could do was smile weakly and bring her hand up to his cheek.

"We knew this could hap-happen, Deeks. Don't be scared, i know you can do this with or without me. Promise me that you'll try." Kensi said weakly in between coughing up blood.

"I don't have to try because you're going to make it, okay? Don't leave me, please."

Deeks could hear the sirens as he saw the ambulances pull up outside the house. The next thing he realised was paramedics swarming the house as one of them pulled him away from Kensi as they put her on a gurney and rushed her into the ambulance. Deeks climbed in and held on to her hand. For a while, it was silent as the paramedic worked on trying to stop the bleeding.

"You're stronger than this, Kens. I know you are. You have to fight this, please."

"Go to your closet and check your jacket pocket. The jacket that you never wear anymore."

Deeks was confused but he was mesmerised by her beauty despite her state. She smiled weakly and squeezed his hand.

"Whatever's in there, you're going to show me yourself." Deeks said firmly pressed her hand against his lips.

"Deeks..."

"Fine, i will. Then, i'm calling you to tell you about it and then teasing you about it."

"I love you, Deeks. You made me the happiest person alive."

"I love you too and i will continue to make you the happiest person alive.

The ambulance stopped and paramedics pulled her out and rushed her into surgery. Deeks sat out in the waiting room for five hours. By then, the entire team had been briefed and had arrived at the hospital. Each of them gave the detective a hug and words of encouragement but none of them truly helped. He had forgotten about what Kensi had told him to do as he worried too much about how long her surgery would take. The longer it was, the worse it was for her. After six hours, the Doctor walked towards them.

"Family of Ms Blye?" She asked and it was clear that she was under a lot of stress.

"Um, no. I'm her boyfriend." Deeks said confidently as he stood up, ignoring the cramp in his leg form sitting on the floor for so long.

"I'm sorry, family only."

"Her mother uh, she's not in LA at the moment and she's all she had as family. We're as close as it gets. If there's anyone you should talk to, it's him." Callen said as he stood to join Deeks and the doctor.

Deeks nodded and mouthed a thanks before walking away from the group to talk with the doctor privately.

"We tried our best, Mr Deeks. But Ms bLye lost too much blood and she passed away on the operating table. I'm...I'm so sorry."

She said, voice full of pity. She could feel him trembling as she placed her hand on Deeks's shoulder. Deeks walked towards the wall and stood with his back against it to steady himself. He looked down and slid down to the floor with his face buried in his hands. The team seemed to understand what was happening and each had their separate reactions. Nell collapsed into Eric's arms and Callen and Sam both decided to let Deeks be by himself for awhile. Deeks stayed on the hospital floor for another solid hour as all attempts by the team to pull him up had failed. Suddenly, he saw images of her smiling and he heard her voice in his head.

"Jacket pocket, Deeks. Remember, I'll always love you"

Now, he sat in his living room, a month after the love of his life was taken away from him. In his hand, he held a small note which was folded. It'd been a month since he refused to open it. He was afraid. Slowly, he unfolded the crumpled piece of paper and read it.

"Raccoons mate for life" It said, written in her handwriting that he secretly loved so much.

Deeks chuckled dryly and heard her voice at the back of his head.

"Don't be scared. I know you can do this with or without me" She said back in the house as he cradled her in his arms.

Deeks stood up and did something he thought he would never do. He opened his drawer, took out his NCIS application and signed it without hesitation. After a shower, he took his gun, badge and application and drove over to OPS after a month of being unsure about what to do anymore. He felt the warm Los Angeles sun against his skin and knew he was doing the right thing for her.