Deeks & Kensi one-shots

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I'm back with another one-shot! I hope you guys have had a great week! This one is a little depressing tbh. But i hope you guys like it!

The LA night sky was unusually dark and it was a cold night. Fatigue took over him as Deeks collapsed on his couch after coming back from work. Kensi sighed as she watched him go straight for the couch every night for the past month. The nights they spent together seemed more of a routine. He'd go for the couch, she'd go have a shower and they would watch a movie where Deeks would fall asleep and she would have to leave to go home by herself. It was saddening, really. Every time she asked if he was alright, he'd say that he was just tired and that LAPD was constantly on his tail. Kensi watched him as he closed his eyes.

"I'm going to take a shower. You'll be okay?" She asked softly as she placed a hand on his chest.

"I'll be fine." He mumbled.

As soon as she walked away, he opened his eyes to watch her walk away slowly. He knew she was hurt by how he had been acting but it was out of his control. He didn't want to tell her what was wrong because he just didn't want to worry her and hurt her any further. Slowly, he closed his eyes and he seemed at peace. He was anything but peaceful. The only way he could fall asleep was if she was by his side. Other times, he would just have his eyes closed and he mind would drift to places he wishes never existed.

Kensi stepped out of the shower and slipped on her sweatpants and pulled Deek's LAPD shirt over her head. She wanted to respect his privacy, she really did but the temptation took over. She knew something was wrong and that he was hiding it from her. After peeking into the living room to check that he was still lying down, she silently went through his drawers and searched for anything that would tell her why he had been acting so weird lately. Deep down, she hoped that she would find nothing and that he really was just tired. But this was Deeks, he would never push her away even if he was 'just tired'. Then, she found it. It was her worst nightmare. The thought had come up once but she pushed it away instantly. Under a pile of his clothes in one of his drawers was a bottle of antidepressants. Kensi's knees went weak and she leaned against the table to steady herself. Her heart instantly sank and it felt so heavy. She put the bottle into her pockets and walked out into the living room. Deeks was already sitting up and getting ready to put on a movie.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kensi asked fiercely at first but immediately softening her expression as she saw him flinch.

"You know, don't you?" He whispered, his voice barely audible. For the first time since they got together, he felt so small and vulnerable and afraid.

Kensi sat down next to him on the couch and pulled out the antidepressants and placed them on top of the table. Deeks sighed shakily and looked away. He was visibly trembling and tried to hide it by playing with his hands. He felt like he'd let her down and that was why he didn't want to tell her in the first place. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realise that Kensi was running her hand up and down his back.

"Deeks, you have to talk to me, please." She said softly as her voice cracked.

"i didn't want you to have to go through this again..." he breathed as he finally turned back to face her.

"The reason why i went through it with Jack was because i loved him. What makes you think it's any different for you? I love you, Deeks. You shouldn't have hid this from me, this is serious. When did this happen?"

"A month ago when i was abducted when we working on the SEAL abduction case. They didn't have to do anything to me...it was just being tied up and-and being away from you. I could smell the blood, Kens and i could taste it in my mouth and it wasn't even there." Deeks mumbled on and on before Kensi interrupted him by gathering his weak body into her arms. Violent sobs racked his body . Kensi tucked his head under her chin and held him tight as he clung onto the back of her shirt.

"We made it this far, Deeks. I'm not going to tell you you'll get through this. Because i'm going to help you through it, okay? i'm never giving up on you and i know you won't give up on yourself, either. We'll figure this out. We always do." She whispered in his ear.

Slowly, he started to calm down and sat up to look at her. He wondered how he'd gotten this lucky, he always did.

"i love you so much, Kens. I'm so sorry"

"Don't ever apologise, okay? I love you too. Smile, Deeks. It's one of the many things i love about you. It's one of the best things about you." Kensi smiled weakly before kissing him gently. "Movie sound good?"

"Sounds great."