Deeks & Kensi one-shots

Don't leave

Heyyy so basically i got really bored in class and i put together a little something! Hope you guys like this one! Still taking requests so comment if you have anyyy.

-Hanaaa

The sun had finally set in Los Angeles, California and everyone had left the Mission to begin the weekend. Everyone was packing up to leave down in the bullpen. Kensi realised that Deeks was nowhere to be found. She headed to the armoury to find Deeks sitting quietly, cleaning his gun.

"Deeks, What are you doing here? Everyone's leaving, aren't you going home?" Kensi asked as she walked towards him.

"You can go if you want, no one's stopping you." He realised he sounded a lot colder than he meant and immediately put his gun down and looked up at her. "I'm sorry..."

"What's wrong, Deeks?" Kensi took a chair and sat across from him, folding her arms on the table.

All he did was look at her. After a minute, he sighed and held her hands in his.

"You...you deserve so much more, Kens."

"What do yo-"

"I'm not good for you." Deeks fought back his tears, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

"Deeks, what the hell? Where is this coming from?" She gave his hands a tight squeeze to assure him.

"I should've told you..."

"Deeks..."

"After hearing Corporal Graham talk about his torture, I...Kens, remember the cleric we used for the prisoner exchange to save you?"

Kensi nodded and blinked away a few tears at the memory of Afghanistan.

"Well, I...I uh-I water boarded him and starved him for like five hours because he wouldn't give me your location. At one point...at one point i did it because i just wanted to, Kens. I was so angry and i just really wanted to get you home safe and i hated him...i really hated him for not letting me but i...i stopped right when i started and i apologised to him and i-i gave him food and i stopped, Kens, i stopped."

Slowly, he felt Kensi pulling her hands away and it made him feel like breaking down and and he felt so sick to his stomach. Eventually, he let a few tears roll down his cheek and he looked up at her and she'd done the same.

"You water boarded him?" Kensi asked softly.

"I'm...i'm not good for you, I'm sorry i hurt you, Kensi. I'm so sorry."

"Deeks, stop. Stop saying that, please. The important thing is you stopped before it got worse. Look, i'm not saying it was right but at least you stopped. You're a good person, Deeks. And if you're not good for me then nobody is. I love you, Deeks and i know you love me too so stop saying that."

"Loving someone doesn't mean you have to have them." Deeks said as his voice broke as he choked on his tears and shook his head.

He put his gun back together, tucked it in his waistband and got up to leave armoury. For a while, Kensi was too shocked to even realise he was gone. She was not letting him leave without them working this out. Kensi got up and ran out to the bullpen in time to grab Deeks's wrist and turn him around to face her.

"Dont do this, Deeks. Please, you didn't hurt me. You've never hurt me and i know that you would never do so intentionally but you're doing it now, by leaving. Don't leave please, please Deeks." Kensi was crying now and it hurt him so much to see her vulnerable. It was just a feeling he could never explain and never wanted to.

"Kens...don't cry, please. I can't see you like this"

"Then hold me and don't leave, just don't leave."

Deeks pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arm around her back and cradled her head with the other. He felt her body shaking against his and hugged her tighter. Kensi sobbed into his shirt and fingers clung onto the back of it. Deeks shut his eyes and kissed her forehead and again on the top of her head which still rested on his chest.

" Okay, I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving, I'm sorry."

They headed back to Deeks's place, knowing there was no coming back from this tonight. It was a comfortable silence in the car as Kensi fell asleep with her head resting on the window. Deeks drove, a hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on top of her hand. All he had planned to do was fall asleep with her by his side to assure her that he was not leaving. He wasn't going anywhere.