Cali Kids: XOXO Sequel (The Ranger$) #Wattys2015

19: Ashley

«Dedicated to @sabtanaakalol. Here's Ashley's now with her feelings. I hope you enjoy this & this redeems last chapter, my bad for the let down. Anyways, enjoy! Deuces!✌»

It's been hard. I gave him my heart & I just can't anymore. I can't again. I won't put myself through that pain again. I love Langston so much but I honestly don't think I will ever really trust him again with my heart. We gave vows & he didn't uphold his.

"I hate you & I want a divorce"

Yes, I said that. I told him that when we were in jail. I meant it too. 15 years of my life wasted. I feel like all the time I spent with him was a lie. I may have been on him about cheating but hell, he didn't actually have to.

Yes, I am insecure. It wasn't just my ex all those years ago but every man I had ever been with. It was even my family too. Do you know how hard it is to constantly be ridiculed for the way you look or how much you are? Before I had even gotten with Marques I had been in an abusive relationship for 3 years. When I say that man tore me down I mean practically destroyed me. I know what Miley Cyrus meant in wrecking ball because he did, they all did.

I always had doubts about Langston because I know his record but I tried not to let it bother me. Even though I had doubts, he's my husband, & I honestly had it in my heart he wouldn't be another them. I was wrong. You wanna know why I hate him besides he's been cheating on me? She called me. That bitch called me & told me how nice my fucking house is, my house where I lay my head, my daughter lays her head, & told me she was pregnant & Langston was gonna leave me for her.

The groupies won. You know what hurt me even more? When I kicked him out where'd he go? To her. He went to her & she lives with him. I will always resent Langston for this shit.

"Ashley, wh-oh my God. Ashley don't cry. Please stop crying", Neicey said pulling me into a hug. I shook my head trying to pull away but she just held me tighter. "Let me go NeNe", I said. "No, Now please stop crying before you make me cry. Think about 'Liyah. I know you're hurting but you have a daughter to raise", she responded. "How did you do it Neicey?", I asked finally hugging her back. She sighed, "I don't know. It wasn't easy then I was pregnant & the twins were barely toddlers. I don't know Ash. I guess I was willing to put everything out there & work at it. I had to forgive Julian. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world, neither was me actually trusting him again. I still sometimes feel like he'll cheat again but I trust him enough to believe that he won't besides. Hubby don't want these problems", she said laughing a little. I laughed too although I still had tears falling from my eyes.

"Lang is like a brother to me but Ash he's not worth your tears. Julian had to prove to me that he was serious about our marriage. That I could give him that chance to fix his wrongs. Even after I told Julian I forgave him I didn't fully. I damn sure didn't trust his ass no further than I could throw him neither but we made it. It was worth it though I think. I'm not gone tell you to take Langston back or to leave him. I'm just gone say this, do what's best for Ashley. Do what will give your heart peace & your mind contentment at the end of the day, not what anybody else tells you what you should do. Do what's best for Ashley & if that means divorcing that ass then do it honey but remember it's all you", she said.

I wiped my face nodding my head. She's right. I have to do what's going to make me happy at the end of the day. I just don't know what that is right now but I feel like I should divorce him. He deserves to be divorced that soup coolers having ass fucker. 'Bitch you love his lips though', a little voice inside my head said. I do but right now I just hate everything about his ass.

"Thank you Neicey", I said squeezing her before letting go. She smiled, "For what?", she asked looking confused. "Being here. You're like a sister & at times a mother to me with your crazy self. Thank you for the advice", I responded. She rolled her eyes, "That's what i'm here for Ashley. Now, no more tears, ar least no right now. Aunty Joyce didn't raise you to cave like this. She raised you to be a strong fierce bitch now be that. Trust me when I say me & Angel ready to ride on Lang's ass but we don't-", I raised a brow at her. "Ok, we can't because the hubbies said, 'Y'all can't just go around fucking people up even if you know them & their ass deserves it. Especially you NeNe & no guns. We gone handle his ass while y'all just make sure Ash's good', The fuck outta here but I won't for you but let me know if you want to", she said making her voice deeper looking annoyed.

I burst out laughing. "It's not funny. He threatened to withhold the D. Usually I wouldn't too much give a damn but i'm hormonal & stressed. The power of good D is a damn gift & a curse. I told his ass I will never have sex with his ass again & cut his dick off if he even thinks about cheating if he holds out on me. Of coarse we had an argument but that ended with sex so we agreed to me 'behaving'", NeNe said looking irritated with a sigh.

I cracking the fuck up. I wasn't crying anymore just laughing & NeNe smiled. I think she told me that stuff with that in mind. I'm grateful that she's a part of my life. I had called Angel & Marie but they were busy so they couldn't come over. I just really needed somebody & NeNe was the only one to come be that somebody.

I didn't want Aaliyah involved because she's already dealing with her own stuff. She doesn't need my forever in your feelings ass adding on to it. She already seems less happy & I don't want her to lose anymore. She doesn't know about Langston's baby & I ain't going to tell her. If anybody is going to it's gonna be her daddy himself. I feel bad though because she barely even talks to him now but then again I don't because he fucked up their relationship.

Me & NeNe just chilled for a while before she went home. I had just got started on dinner when my phone rang. Me being a dumb ass didn't look to see who was calling before answering.

(Bold Langston & Italic Ashley)

"We need to talk"

"About what?"

"Us? How the fuck you gone just divorce me without giving me a chance?"

"What us Langston? You fucking cheated on me with some bitch & had her in our fucking house! Ho- Nope. No, fuck this! I don't have to explain shit to you & i'm not gone argue with you Langston"

"Let that shit go. Maybe if you weren't constantly bitching then I wouldn't have. I put up with your shit for so long & I ju-"

"Fuck you Langston. Grow the fuck up. We're 2 grown ass people with a daughter & your ass acting like a child. So what i'm insecure but you & every other boy i've ever been with made me this way. If I didn't love dick so much i'd be a fucking lesbian by now dealing little little ass boys like your ass. Stop looking for a muthafuckin' excuse  for what you've done. I didn't put a muthafuckin' gun to your head. If it bothered you so much than you should've talked to me but fuck it. Don't be looking for me to tell 'Liyah about your new baby neither"

With that I hung up. I've had enough of his shit. I really don't know what to do now. I was thinking about talking things out to maybe reconcile but he just pushed further towards divorce. I still need to think things through but he's not making shit easier. He kept calling me until I just cut my phone off after texting everyone to let them know. Honestly, I don't need this shit.
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Vote. Comment. I want to know what you think about Ashley's conflict? Do you think she should stay or go? What do you think she should do? Lang's behavior?»