My List of Mistakes

Any Noose

"Nathan I don't know why you're not talking to me but... But I'm scared. It's been three days and I haven't heard a word from you. Baby where are you? Please talk to me." Elliot mumbled I to the phone, covering his face. School was about to end and he hadn't seen Nate all day. When the bell rang he went off, walking out the door and heading down the path. It took him half an hour before he was stopped, not sixty feet away from one of the old abandoned shops.

"Nate.." He breathed, eyes falling on the man in front of him. "Baby where have you been!?" He rushed forward, trying to hug him before Nathan shoved him away. There was just silence and confusion, he walked towards his lover again only to go flying back.

"Don't touch me." He growled, his hood up and blue eyes driving daggers into the other.

Elliot's stiffened out, staggering back a few steps. "Nate-"

"Don't call me that! Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. Got it?"

The taller took a sharp breath, looking down at him. "Nate-Nathan... What.. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You. You're wrong." He growled, his fists clenched. "You and everything you do is wrong."

Elliot's shook his head, backing up. "What are you talking about? Nathan?" His chest was growing tight.

"You." He hissed, fists clenched at his sides. "You're nothing but a useless Faggot."

The other froze, his breath catching at the back of his throat. He was more confused then he'd ever been. "Nathan.." He choked out.

"You're so stupid. God!! This was supposed to be fun! It was torture!"

"What... What do you mean?" He whimpered, refusing to cower like he usually did. He was strong now. Nathan had made him strong.

"Fucking around with you." He shook his head, making a noise in disgust. "It was a dare. It was all a dare." He growled, eyes narrowed.

Elliot knew his heart stopped beating. He could hear his blood rushing in his ears. A dare?

"I spent the last six months of my life kissing, touching, speaking to you.... God I even let you fuck me! I did it for a dare. It was supposed to be funny. It wasn't.... Do you think I really loved you?"

That was it. That was the moment Elliot's heart shattered. "Don't say that. Don't you fucking... Fucking say that." His eyes watered as he shook, hands trembling. Despite it all he pushed himself forward, reaching out for Nathan, wanting to take his hand. "You love me... You love me because I love you... I love you so much." He finally grabbed onto Nathan, tracing his hand.

The dark haired teen growled and shoved Elliot's forward, pushing him against the walk of the building. A loud thump sounded as his back slammed into the rotting wood.

"I. Never. Loved. You." Nathan growled into his ear. "No one loves you. How could anyone ever love you?"

Elliot shook his head. "N-no. no you love me.... You love me." He whispered over and over, tears slipping down his cheeks.

"I don't." He laid a hit to his stomach, making Elliot cry out. "I don't love you.... Everything was fine. Up until David threw me in the pool. He didn't know it was a joke. Nearly got me killed.... You almost killed me." He hit him again. "I had to put up with all your shit over these past months.. It was disgusting... Thank god it's over. I won."

Elliot looked up, eyes red and blood shot. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Lying?"

Nathan glared and punched him right in the jaw, beating on him until Elliot was nothing more then a broke little heap on the ground. "Fuck off faggot..." He spat and walked away, not even caring to look back even though his heart hurt. Everything hurt:

Elliot sat there, trying to catch his breath as he sobbed and clutched his chest. His heart was broken, unable to be fixed. The teen felt his phone ring and closed his eyes. It was probably Eve looking for him. After about her hours he pushed himself off the ground, lumping the entire way home,

"Where the hell have you been!?" Eve demanded, following her son. "What happened!?"

Elliot ignored her, pulling himself up the strap and letting his feet drag along to his room. He spent a lot time thinking, looking down at the empty papers on his desk.

When he started to work, he bound the cover of his fairytale and put it on his bed before scribbling down words onto pages and pages. He didn't stop until he couldn't seem to find the words to finish what he wanted to say. The brown eyes boy was hysterical, ignoring the many attempts from his mother. He didn't care about anything anymore. He'd just lost his everything, part of his heart. Elliot couldn't seem what the world saw. He couldn't see the potential people said he had, all he could see was the evident news that he wasn't loved.

As his thoughts and heart fought, he grew tired of the pain, aimlessly walking around and gathering different things. He got his Belts together, laying them out on the bed before scone crying them all together. He then got a chair and placed in under the banister in his room. As he worked in his closest, slipping on a white dress shirt and black dress pants, he looked over the bruises that adorned his body.

Just a week ago he thought he might've seen the beauty that Nathan said he could see when he looked at him. He thought he could see how his skin was laid nicely and how his dragon tattoo blazed off his back. He thought he could see it, but now he just saw the blood, bruises and swelling that covered him. He was hideous.

He tied his tie and looked himself over in the mirror, his best suit on with the matching tie. He looked acceptable. That was good. It would save someone work.

Elliot walked back into the room, the tears never leaving his cheeks as he rigged up the belts and slipped the loop around his neck before closing his eyes and kicking out the chair below him.