My List of Mistakes

What Even Happened

"I hear he died. Hung himself in his room!" One girl whispered to another during first period.

"No! I heard he slit his wrists... Bled out."

"Really? Because I heard that he didn't even make it home, he just threw himself in front of a bus!"

Nathan listened to all the comments, the rumors. His heart kept sinking. Just over two weeks ago Nathan had seen Elliot, alive and well- not well... More like crumbled in a ball on the ground- but still! There was no way the teen was gone. He knew that. Elliot wasn't gone and he wouldn't believe it.

All of it made him feel guilty. He'd been the reason that Eliot would do something so stupid. It was his fault because he'd let his own life and reputation get in the way of it all. He'd let what others said and did get between him and Elliot and now everyone thought he was dead! He wasn't dead right? That was the hardest part, he didn't know what the truth was.

"Attention all staff and students, this is your Superintendent, Frank Galicki, here to inform you that due to recent events, all Elk Lake schools will be having an assembly today. Thank you."

All of the students got quiet, looking at one another because everyone knew what this was about. They knew that it was because of Elliot and what had happened. Nathan knew he'd learn just exactly how much damage he'd caused.
-;-

The auditorium was packed with people, all of the students and staff of the school. Administration lined the back walls, watching over the kids while the principals and the superintendent all stood in the front, pacing. Nate sat in the back with his so called friends, sinking down into the chair and putting his hood up. He couldn't listen to this. When the crowd hushed, he looked up again to see the principal, Mr. Darius, standing with a microphone in hand.

The man let there be a best of silence before talking. "Good morning Elk Lake... I'm glad to see we were able to gather you all here in such short notice, and you know if I've done this, then what I'm saying must be very important...." He let out a sigh and stood up straighter. "Recently over the past few weeks, there have been rumors and speculations of the whereabouts of one of our students. Yes, there was an accident. Yes, Elliot Stark hasn't been to school recently, and the reasons have just been brought to my attention by his family. We haven't called you in here to name names and point blame on anyone. We are here to tell you that things like this need to end. Students all over the country are taking their own lives due to the pressure and words of others...."

Nathan's mind was racing. Elliot was dead... He was dead.

"... We are blessed to know that, beside the circumstances, Elliot had not been a victim of such tragedy but instead lives to be a beacon for what people can over come."

There were murmurs through the crowd as the students began to speculate what had happened. Nathan just sat there, eyes brimming with tears that he didn't even try to keep back. He was thankful and happy. Elliot was alive and Nathan would be to be with him again. The teen began to think of all the ways to apologize for this, how to make up for the pain he'd caused. It would be hard but he would do it.

"I don't know how many of you were close to Mr. Stark but he is a top notch student. He's bright and talented and deserves respect from everyone, just as we all deserve respect for one another. We had no clue that any bullying was occurring in his life... We had no clue how to help."

Nathan had been so caught up I. His thoughts, he almost didn't process what it was that Mr. Darius had said. "You're lying..." He said a little too loud.

The entire crowd turned to look at him and the teen tensed up. "I'm sorry what was that?"

He looked around. He could see all the people he'd picked on. He could see all the people that he called his friends. He stood up and started walking towards the front. "You're lying... You did know he was being bullied." Nathan said firmly, oddly calm.

Mr. Darius shook his head. "Mr. Acetarium.., please take a seat." He mumbled.

"Why!? So you can spread lies to make yourself look better? Do you wanna know how well that worked out for me? My boyfriend tried to kill himself." He growled and turned to look at the crowd. "Fuck this school and the people up here who are saying they will help. They won't! They will ignore you because your problems don't matter to them! So what if you're being bullied!? You're not in sports, you're gay? Yeah well we can't help you because you don't add anything to this school!!" He got silent and looked over everyone. "Doesn't feel so good does it? People saying you don't matter and that your feelings and dreams aren't valid.... Elliot Stark faced that his entire life and I promised him if never hurt him like some of you have.... And you know what I did?" He sniffled and wiped his eyes. "I beat the shit of of him and called him horrible things.... I hurt him worse then any of you ever could. I took his love and hope. He didn't deserve that and nether do any of you.., so I'm pleading today that if anyone- and I mean anyone needs any help with any sort of problem, I will be here to talk you through it. I will help you because I've seen what hurting people can do."

The crowd was silent once again when suddenly someone from the back stood. "I promise to help."

A boy beside her stood too. "I promise to help."

Suddenly almost the entire student body was up, screaming the pledge. Nathan looked them all over, his jaw dropping and a happy smile flashing across his face. It was all perfect until he was hauled off to the principal's office.