A life together

Fun With Friends

"I can't believe you betrayed me like that. You promised you wouldn't!"

Loki sneered at him, "Oh, I am sorry, Anthony. Did I hurt your ego?"

"I want a divorce."

Everyone at the table laughed and Harley looked at them like they were insane. "It's just Monopoly. You two are so dramatic," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Welcome to the madhouse, kid," Happy told him.

"You'll see, Lokes, when I get out of jail I'm gonna take away every damn penny you've earned," grumbled Tony as he watched as Pepper moved up the board and pulled out a 'get out of jail free' card. "That is so unfair."

Harley giggled rolling the dice and reaching the exit again, receiving the stipulated $200. "You are a billionaire, darling. It should not bother you paying a small bail."

"I might be a billionaire in real life, but in this game of hell I'm bankrupt."

"Do they always take games so seriously?" asked the kid watching them banter.

Happy took a sip of his beer and nodded, "You'll see them playing UNO. It's a slaughter."

Harley's eyes gleamed. "Can we play that later?"

"I told you to stop putting fuc-freaking hotels on your properties!"

"You may be my husband, Anthony, but you do not control my investments."

Pepper shook her head, "It's like babysitting kids."

"Are we there yet?"

"Oh for the love of- No, there's still twenty minutes to go. Just like when you asked me three seconds ago." If Harley or Loki asked again, Tony was going to open the car door and jump.

They were on their way to Orlando, to celebrate the kid's first birthday with them. He didn't know it, but they were taking him to Disney World, something both of his boys wanted to visit and had never had a chance to.

"I still do not get why you did not let me teleport us there? It would have been much easier, instead of spending hours locked in this death trap."

Harley face-palmed, "Why would you say that?"

"Death trap? You say my beautiful Audi q5 is a death trap? Really? How dare you?" Tony said offended.

"I am not saying the car is a death trap. But you driving it definitely makes it one."

"That's it, you're going to sleep on the couch for the rest of the month."

"Fine, at least that way no one is going to steal my blankets."

No one spoke for a few minutes until Harley said, "Are we there yet?" and Tony hit his forehead on the steering wheel.

"Next time I'll take Coulson. At least he's more likely to keep quiet during the trip."

Harley was at a sleepover with his friend Ned and Peter, at the latter's house, so when Loki and Tony came back from work they were alone.

The god analyzed the bruises on his husband's arms and face with his brows furrowed, "You are hurt."

"Yeah, raiding a secret underground base full of hostiles would do that to you," Tony looked up and analyzed him. "Your clothes are scorched."

"Hm, so it would seem. A small interdimensional threat that throws fireballs would do that to you."

They both narrowed their eyes and said in unison, "You heard nothing."

"And everyone thinks I'm living in the penthouse. Since it's restricted and JARVIS only lets me in, no one knows that I don't spend my time there."

Rhodey laughed, "That must be stressful, you're lucky that Stark Industries is in that same building, otherwise you would be traveling from one place to another every day. Anyway, how are things?"

"It's a fucking nightmare. I now have ex-agents working for me, the Avengers living under my roof, we are looking for more Hydra bases and on top of that we found out that Tyr's scepter and other extremely dangerous weapons were stolen, probably by the stupid Nazis we were working for... so yeah, everything's great. "

"Man, you need a vacation."

"I already had my vacation, we went to Disney! What better vacation than that can I have?"

His friend laughed again, "I never asked how it went. I only got the two hundred thousand pictures you sent me of Harley and Loki," he said annoyed, but his tone of fond exasperation showed through the call.

"You'd think that a god who can teleport and a man who spends his time flying in a can could handle a simple game of spinning cups."

Rhodey cackled at that, "You guys got on the Mad Tea Party at Magic Kingdom?"

"Yup."

"Did you puke?" he asked, and Tony could swear he heard the shit-eating grin on his friend's face.

"That's classified, platypus."

"That's a yes. I can't believe you guys puked. That game's for kids!"

Tony groaned, "There was just so much spinning."

Harley left school a nervous wreck. It was Friday and it was the first time Peter was going to see his house and meet Loki and Tony.

He had chatted with his guardians and together they came to the conclusion that Peter was a trustworthy person, so they told him that if he wanted to invite him to stay for the weekend, there was no problem whatsoever.

"So, who's coming to get us?" Peter asked curiously.

Harley looked at him trying to hide his anxiety, "Uh, I think my Uncle Happy."

"What kind of name is Happy?"

"Don't ask me, it's Tony who gives stupid nicknames to everyone he knows."

In the end, Happy did pick them up, and he did him a favor ignoring them the whole way, giving them a chance to speak.

"You never talk much about your guardians. Are they cool?"

Harley smiled, "Yeah, they're cool. They're kind of embarrassing, to be honest. You're the first one I invite into my house," he added awkwardly without looking Peter in the eye.

"Really?" He gave him a huge smile. "Oh man, that's so awesome! I mean, I never had a lot of friends, it was always Ned and me, but you came to school and you fit into our nerd club like a glove. You like science, the same music, you like the avengers, you love pizza- "

"Everyone loves pizza."

"That's a good point. I wonder what's the percentage of people in the world that hates pizza," he said absently, drifting out of his train of thought with ease.

Harley let him ramble until Happy drove through the wards and parked in front of the house. "Yeah, Pete, I think before I go in I have to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it?" He asked, tilting his head to the side like a puppy.

"Well-"

A familiar voice interrupted him, "Hey, Hap! Did you bring the gremlins back safe and sound?"

Peter's eyes looked like saucers when he looked out the windshield. "That is- that- that's Tony Stark."

Harley banged his head against the front seat and opened the window, "I was about to tell Peter, couldn't you use your inside voice?"

"Sorry, kiddo," Tony opened the door and looked at his friend. "You must be Peter Parker," he said with a giant smile.

"I'm so confused."