A Bucket Of Your Heart

Chapter 20

»»20««

I snuggled close to Marielle. She didn't mind it though considering her 'attitude'. My bed isn't that big for all of us but we managed to fit in, making me feel like we're sardines in a tight can. 

"Clyde, patayin mo 'yung ilaw," I nudged him.

"Masama 'yan, Cloe." he answered, which received a glare from me. He hurriedly did what I told him to. I'm not in the mood for jokes. 

Noah pressed the play button. My full attention was on it but we all whined except for the one holding the remote when we noticed it wasn't the movie we agreed to watch.

"Eto nalang please," he implored, referring to IT. I personally don't like horror because it's scary. 

One time I came across a horror movie and watched it, it almost gave me a heart attack. I was all alone back then. I guess it'll be manageable since I'm with them. 

"Pagkatapos nalang ng barbie natin 'yan panoorin," Ken said and snatched the remote from Noah. He doesn't have a choice. It was my suggestion to watch Barbie and the Secret Door. Everyone was in favor of my proposition except for Noah. Talo siya. 

The film is about a princess who doesn't like interacting with other people but discovers a whole new world that lets her meet magical creatures. 

"I don't really like barbie but if Cloe wants to watch, then..." Marielle then shrugged. 

Clyde wrapped his arms over my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. 

"Huy 'wag si Cloe. Iba nalang."

I smacked his head. Kalokohan talaga. 

He crouched in pain. 

Marielle smirked, "Don't worry. May iba naman talaga."

After that we all went silent. The movie started and none of us talked. For like 20 seconds because Clyde opened his mouth to say things but we shushed him. 

I leaned closer to him, "Tumahimik ka. Kung hindi papatayin kita."

"Papatayin sa pagmamahal?" he asked with a smirk, moving closer to me, making our faces a few inches apart. 

"Aray aray," he cried when I pinched his side. "Tatahimik na po binibini," he then acted zipping his mouth.

I rolled my eyes at him and looked at the movie that just started. I have watched this a couple of times and it's still my favorite. Next to the Princess and the Pauper ofcourse. 

We actually planned to have a movie marathon and luckily my parents agreed. It was my last day in school after all. I guess they wanted me to have a proper goodbye to my friends. And it's not like we won't see each other again.

After collapsing the other day, they called the emergency hotline and I was sent to the hospital. It wasn't good news. 

At that time, I wished I couldn't hear anything. It was hard to pretend to be asleep while they talked about how my condition was worsening. 

My eyes watered and I tried so hard to not cry. I was already a hopeless case. 

Yes. I've had surgery since I was a kid and it was supposed to prolong my existence but I guess it just doesn't work on everybody. That includes me. 

My heart was greatly damaged. And taking meds or even surgery won't suffice it. 

What I needed was something more than that. I could easily schedule a surgery but what I needed was something you have to wait for. 

And I could die waiting. 

My heart was a walking time bomb.

And time doesn't stop even for a moment. 

All the things they've said were running through my head. It was so hard to absorb. The thought of dying scared me. Not because I'm afraid of the physical pain. But because of the people I'll leave here. 

»»♡««

I went down to the kitchen to drink water in the middle of the night. They were all in deep slumber. 

I smiled thinking how much we screamed earlier when watching IT. Masaya pala sumigaw. I don't know but it felt so satisfying. So comforting. 

"Huy."

I gasped when I heard someone speak behind my ear. 

He laughed at my reaction.

"Gusto mo ibuhos ko sa 'yo itong tubig?" I told Clyde and tried to shove the glass of water in his face.

He took it from my hands and drank the remains. 

Ew. That was an indirect kiss. Nandoon na laway ko for sure.

"Ba't hindi ka pa natutulog?" he asked after drinking all the water. 

"E, ikaw. Ba't gising ka pa?" I challenged him with a question. 

He chuckled. His arms went up to my shoulder to turn me around and pushed me through the curtain window, he parted the curtains.

I crossed my arms. Ano na naman binabalak nito?

"Nakikita mo 'yan?" he asked.

I frowned. 

Wala naman akong nakikitang kakaiba. 

"The sky? Duh? Anong gusto mong makita ko?" I asked him, feeling irritated.

He walked over to my side and put his arms around my shoulder before speaking, "Yung buwan. Nakikita mo?"

"Ofcourse. Hindi pa naman ako bulag, Clyde."

I looked over the moon. When was the last time I gazed at its charm? Ever since I went to schoolㅡ No. Ever since Clyde took me out to fulfill my bucket list, I never got to have time to stare at the moon. I love looking at the moon whenever I can't fall asleep. But I haven't had any trouble concerning sleep ever since I met this idiot. 

"Sabi nila, kung sino daw ang kasama mo sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan, ay siya daw ang makakatuluyan mo," he stated while looking up at the moon. 

I raised my brow, "Hindi naman 'yan full moon." 

A small part of it was still black. I think it was called Waning Gibbous. 

"Bakit? Sinong may sabi na gusto kitang makatuluyan?" 

I gawked at his answer. What the hell? 

"Biro lang," he laughed but stopped when he saw me all serious. 

I still can't believe he said that. It's not funny at all. Malapit ko na siyang hambalusin sa bintana. 

"Sa susunod, ilalabas kita kapag full moon na." 

"Clyde," I instantly called him. "Hindi na akoㅡ"

makakalabas...

"Shh. Kailangan na nating matulog. Balik na tayo?" 

I nodded. 

The thought of leaving my parents and friends suffocated me. I just can't. 

And if I had to cheat death, I would. 

Not today, Kamatayan. Not tomorrow. Nor the day after tomorrow.