𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲━𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐫𝐢𝐧

21

sinb wished she never touched the liquor because maybe then she would have been able to change the outcome. all night and morning, people were blowing up sinb's phone but she got wasted so she didn't wake up until eleven in the morning. but even then, her phone got notification after notifications from multiple different apps. sinb groaned and rolled over to pick up her phone. but was horrified as she saw what the buzz what about. they were pictures... of yerin's naked body being penetrated by different people.

despite being hungover, sinb immediately got up and took off down the stairs to head to yerin's house but what she heard on the television destroyed her completely. "a local high school student was found deceased in her bedroom earlier this morning. she was all alone in her house and according to the paramedics, she'd been dead for at least five-" sinb's mom cut off the television and rushed over to her daughter, hugging her tightly.

"eunbi... baby, just breathe." her mom told her, rubbing her back as she stood there with an expressionless stare. "we don't know who-" "i'm leaving." the girl said, rushing out the door so her mother didn't see the tears forming in her eyes. sinb drove to yerin's house, her vision blurred by the tears in her eyes, hoping for it to just be a sick prank that eunseo pulled or a joke someone had arranged.

sinb didn't even bother getting out the car as she saw police cleaning up the scene. her heart dropped to her feet and she felt the air in her lungs diminish. it was true... jung yerin was gone and it was her fault. sinb felt a wave of goosebumps wash over her skin and her tears burn down her cheeks because she never cried so hard in her life. all sinb could think about as she sat in her car was yerin's smiling face singing dynamite, eliciting a sharp inhale to try to stop her tears at least a little but nothing worked.

sinb took out her phone and started scrolling through her gallery. the pictures she'd steal as yerin wasn't paying attention made her smile but brought her even more tears. the picture that crushed her was the one she'd taken just two nights before. was she not happy? was a smile that beautiful really a front? did sinb not make her happy? sinb had so many questions that'd probably go unanswered. sinb went to their text messages next, shattering when she saw a message and a video with two different time stamps. one from the night before and the other from earlier that morning.

'where are you? they said you'd be here' sinb couldn't help but cry even harder because yerin could have been saved if she picked up her phone and read that message. but the video was even more devastating. "hi, sinb. something happened and i can't live with the embarrassment nor the things to follow so i'm going to end it." the video had only just started but sinb was already falling apart at the sound of yerin's fragile voice and the sight of her torn dress. "that being said, i know i never shared much about myself with you. so here goes nothing."

yerin picked up the family photo sitting on her desk and smiled at it as tears fell from her already puffy eyes. "this is me, my mom and... my dad. when i was fifteen years old, my mom died of terminal illness so i fell into depression. later when i turned sixteen, my father decided i looked too much like my mom and started beating me for any little thing. all those bruises that you didn't give me, he did." sinb felt like someone was stabbing her in the heart repeatedly because the trauma in yerin's life never stopped and she only added onto it.

"it's okay because every bit of pain you caused me, you replaced with joy. you made me feel worth something, made me feel important... made me feel cared for and that's more than i could have ever asked for so thank you." sinb's tears had fallen onto her phone screen, skipping into the video some. "i don't know if i'm important enough to you but if you are, please stop crying, sinb. the last thing i'd want is the only person who made my life worth anything to feel bad because i'm gone. speaking of, get along with sowon for me. she's not that bad a person. she just talks alot." sinb chuckled brokenly and wiped her face though tears kept falling.

"sorry, that's enough sad stuff. i want to make you smile the way you did so let me tell you how you make me feel. the night you took me to the cliff was honestly the best night of my life and i'll never forget the sweet kisses we shared. i loved you... in a weird way but i loved you so much. that's why i did everything you said even though you hit me. that's why i trusted you enough to let you take me to random places at random times of the day. that's why i always called for you." yerin admitted, tears falling from her eyes and a shiny smile on her lips.

sinb didn't know if her heart could take a confession, especially not one from her late jung yerin but regardless, it made her cheese like there was a camera aimed at her. "god, i even started to want to live because of you but changkyun and eunwoo took that away last night. ripped my dress, called me degrading names... took turns assaulting me and took pictures. then this morning, they were all over every social media platform so my life that hadn't even started... was over just like that." yerin sighed shakily and started fiddling with something that made a rattle sound in her hand.

"this is the last thing, i promise. listen to this song with me. i think you'll like it." yerin said, obviously about to end the video. a disco beat faded in and soon a giggle followed. "the blossoming night begins. write it down just for me. the first page, yeah~ six nine six oh magic. dancing toes go crazy. raise a glass to me now~ every do's and don'ts, they all bore me. i'll fly away on a broom! look at me. don't be afraid, i won't get hurt. my life is waiting for you! her smiling at me in the mirror! hakuna matata my heart is beating for you! yes you. no more fairy tale. the night goes tic tak tic tak. ring my heart! mago mago, go on and judge me now. i won't ever waiver. mago mago, dance a dance for me the night goes tic tak tic tak. feel so high~"

though she was close to sobbing, sinb had a smile on her face the entire song as yerin mouthed the lyrics with a faltering smile on her face. "that's how i felt everytime we were together. and i know it's too late but you really did make me happy. goodbye, sinb. thank you for being by my side." yerin smiled as tears poured from her eyes and ended the video. sinb could no longer contain it and bursted out crying, repeatedly hitting her head against the steering wheel. sinb let out a heartbroken scream and she held her phone tightly as everything she had left of yerin was in it.

that night sinb didn't go home because how could she? her bed probably smelled like yerin and she couldn't handle that yet. so she did what she did the night before and got wasted. when she was finished, she wasn't even finished. the bartender told her she'd had enough and called someone to pick her up.