Love & Serenity

Chapter 8

Lillian sat alone at one of the tables in the middle of a very packed Mindy's. She could barely hear or listen to her thoughts. The cheerfulness of the place wasn't letting her and she wanted to leave, not because she didn't enjoy the cheerfulness but because she avoided crowded places. She was the one who kept her head down and avoided eye contact, the one who wanted to shrink and go unnoticed in the middle of a crowd. She wanted to avoid any attention that might come her way even if no one knew her; which is one of the reasons she had an alias for her books.

She didn't need anyone walking down the street and knowing who she was, she'd seen how things got with her favourite authors. Also, and most especially, she didn't need anyone digging into her horrid past. It was hard having to live it and having to deal with the memories, she didn't need anyone making her relive it. It all worked out, except for book signing which authors did and appearances, she avoided all of those. She didn't like it very much though because she loved Heather Brown's fanbase, but she also couldn't risk her privacy.

Sitting in the middle of Mindy's, all she wanted was some peace and quiet. She wanted her thoughts to float until something stood out and took root in her imagination. She could then build on that for her new book. But no one, not one soul was letting her listen. She kept at eating and didn't want to go faster than she was, or she'd end up choking.

"Could you go any faster?"

Lillian looked up and up into ocean blue eyes staring down at her. She loved the ocean and how calming it was, the sound of the waves crashing, the colour, and the endless distance. But how could something that was meant to be calming look ready for war?

"I'm sorry?"

"You look like you can't wait to get out of this place."

"Oh, I... I didn't mean for it to seem that way."

He smiled.
"But it is that way?"

She realized she'd been caught.

"May I?" He pointed to the seat across from her.

"Please."

Jax took the seat across from her and immediately got a whiff of lilies, very mild but still there. He'd seen her across the room when he came in a few minutes ago and couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind as she seemed so far away. He'd had his lunch at the counter like he always did with one ear tuned to what the residents talked about because boy, they talked to each other from across the room, you didn't have to strain your ear to listen. He'd also missed her in the morning and had had a few hours to think about what Mindy had told him to do. His grams would roll in her grave if she knew how he'd treated her and that had eaten at him since Mindy had talked to him. He promised himself that when next he saw her, he wouldn't let her get away before he apologized.

Lillian looked at him with her light brown eyes, the colour of coffee, and he wanted to know all the reasons those eyes seemed ...sad. Or was it dead? The small beautiful smile on her lips was a very good distraction to take anyone's attention off those sad eyes, but not him.

"It's good to see you again." She said,

"Is it?" He asked with no emotion, "After last night, I'd think you wouldn't want to cross paths with me again."

"You were scared, your reaction was justified."

Scared? How did she know that?
Everyone else thought he was worried, which he also was but she'd met him for a few seconds and had known that.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. For whatever reason, it wasn't gentlemanly of me."

Her smile grew a little bit wider.
"My guess is you're apologizing because you were raised right and there's someone or some people in your family that wouldn't be pleased with how you reacted."

His brow made a 'V' in the middle as he wondered how in the world she could make guesses like that.

"Ah-ha! There it is. I'm right."

He almost smiled at how cute she sounded as he studied her face. Noticing for the first time how beautiful she was, it hit him square in the jaw because he hadn't looked at anyone like he was looking at her. He shifted his gaze.
"There was someone who wouldn't have very much liked me reacting that way, especially to someone I'm meeting for the first time. I'm sorry again."

"It's all ok, it's in the past now."

Jackson leaned his arms on the table, leaning closer with a smile on his face.
"You're one of those who don't take things to heart and just let it go, aren't you?"

She smiled again and he almost sighed as he basked in the sight. She mimicked his movement.
"And you're one of those who love figuring people out so you know whether to stay away from them or not...aren't you?"

It had been a while since he smiled for real and this woman had made him do it a couple of times in one day.
"You're trouble."

"Ah, so you've come to a conclusion." She teased even though she knew he had, she leaned back into her seat.

Lillian had no idea what had come over her. She wasn't usually this talkative especially with a stranger but something about Jax made her want to prolong their conversation. She looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"I'm sorry, I'm not usually this way."

"What way?"

"Outspoken." And she wasn't, she did all her talking on paper.

"What way are you usually like?"

"Hmm, not this."

Jax studied her for a moment as she looked slightly panicked.
"Maybe it's just the real you?"

It was a simple question, but it came with so much baggage for Lillian. She grew up at the orphanage, being taught and learning to be a certain way so she could get picked by families. While others had rebelled, she hadn't. It was funny because those kids had gotten picked before she had. And that one time she got picked, they'd returned her barely a month later.

Jax noticed the change in her mood and frowned.
"Did I say something?"

She looked up at him and smiled that same smile, her eyes had gone back to being sad.
"No, I just remembered I had things to do before nightfall."

He didn't buy that but it wasn't his business.
"Don't let me keep you then."

Lillian got up and took the icepack Mindy had given her for her finger.
"It was nice meeting you, Jax."

"Nice meeting you too, Lillian."

She smiled and made her way to the counter.
"Thank you so much, Mindy. The food was absolutely delicious, as always." She said as she handed her the icepack.

"You're welcome, dear. How's the finger?"

"Much better." She said, "I have to get going."

"Alright, dear."

Lillian smiled and made her way out of Mindy's and towards her car. On her way, she spotted a guy in a shirt making his way to his truck, it was the guy she'd seen in the morning. She'd recognize that shirt and that back anywhere. She paused at her door as she took out her keys, eyes still on him when he reached his truck and turned, facing her.

Quickly, she looked away.
Oh, shoot?!

The guy she'd been daydreaming about for her new book was Jax? How hadn't she noticed that when he was seated across from her a moment ago.

Because you were too busy staring at his handsome face, that's why?

Lillian got into her car and sighed. She needed to get started on her book, her head got packed when she wasn't writing. She chose that as her reason for not noticing that Jax was the daydream hero for her new book.