Love & Serenity

Chapter 19

Jax sat at one of the tables, this time he chose a seat where he was able to watch Lillian while she worked. He had no idea why he did that, there was just something about how she worked her way from table to table and the way she smiled at the customers, residents, that already knew her from the previous day. He liked watching her when she wasn't looking and the more time he spent with her, he realized she was not like the girls he knew and used to date before he came to Burlington.

For one, she didn't know who he was before he came to Burlington, which might change if she did. Jax was always cautious not revealing anything to anyone about his life before Burlington to avoid any kind of disruption in his life. He was never scared that any of them would find out because he would just pack up and go to the next town where no one knew who he was. But now, the thought of leaving Burlington, leaving everyone he had gotten to know, including Lillian, he was, for the first time, scared someone would wake up one day and realize who he is.

"Refill?"

Jax looked up at Lillian who was smiling so beautifully at him, waiting for his reply.

"Yes please." He smiled back.

She tipped off his coffee mug.
"Can I get you anything else?"

Jax stared at her for a moment with his piercing gaze and Lillian felt her heart start to beat faster. Jax leaned forward, his arms on the table as he looked up at her.
"Your time, Ms."

Lillian's smile turned to a grin.
"I should clock out pretty soon."

Jax smirked at her.
"Perfect. We'll sneak out back."

Lillian laughed taking Jax by surprise, his chest expanded and fell as he sighed happily.
"Then you can tell me what kind of books you read."

"Not books. Movies."

Lillian's humour went out the window.
"Oh, we would have words, sir."

Jax smiled as he watched her walk away and attend to other customers. He turned to Otto who was seated right beside him.
"Hey there buddy, you alright?"

Otto barked as Jax scratched his head.
"You'll be good in a few days."

Lillian joined Jax when she served the last customer as Hank made her her lunch. Jax watched as she sat down across from him, he leaned back into his seat, his hand flung across the top of the seat.

"So, explain yourself." Lillian said, "Why not books?"

Jax smiled.
"You're not going to let me get away with it, are you?"

"No." Lillian said.

"I used to read books as a child and a teenager but just never really had time for it after..." Jax stopped.

"After what?"

Jax looked at her. He couldn't quite believe he'd almost talked about it. This had never happened before; he was so careful not to go in that direction.
"After life happened and I didn't have time for myself let alone reading." He said calmly like that was what he wanted to say.

"Reading is the best way to help you unwind and let go of a stressful day."

"A movie is much easier, and not to mention quicker."

Lillian stared at him shocked and speechless.
"I don't know what to say."

Jax smiled.

"What genre did you used to read?"

"Anything really. My dad had a lot of horror, and books on growth. Romance and Mystery was my mum and my gran."
Jax realized as soon as it was out that he had yet, done it again and this time he hadn't stopped it before it slipped out.

Lillian didn't notice the change in his mood and just smiled.
"Mystery and Romance, my absolute favourite genres." She said, "Which was your favourite?"

Jax looked at her.
"Uh, they all were but I think I preferred my gran's collection to my mum's."

"Oh?"

For the first time since he arrived in Burlington, he smiled with the thought of his gran.
"She had this sort of books that were in ancient times, Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice..."

"Historical Romance."

Jax snapped his finger and pointed his forefinger at her with a smile she hadn't seen before.
"That's it."

Lillian wondered where his smile had been hiding all along. It was as if he'd kept it hidden and now as he talked about his past, about books, there it was. It was almost like he had the same feelings as her when it came to books.

"Yea, she had a shelf full and some packed away in the attic." Jax said, "I always thought I'd get to them after I was done with the ones on the shelf."

"I'm guessing that would've taken every waking moment of your teenage years."

"And then some." Jax's smile lingered. "My gran was the one who actually started me off when I was a teenager. She gave me my first book and I won't lie, it sat on my bedside for weeks, maybe even months and she kept asking how I liked it." Jax scoffed, "Told her I was taking my time with it."

Lillian smiled.
"What made you pick it up?"

Jax looked at her and smiled.
"Whenever she talked about my Granpa, her eyes would light up and books were always involved in their story, that's actually how they met. I remember sitting there in her living room and just wondering if or when I'd get to meet someone that made me feel that way she talked about even after years of having them gone."

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's ok. She loved him and it took her a while to get past it but when she did, she smiled just thinking about him." Jax said, "I knew then and there I wanted to meet someone like that. So, I got home that day and picked up that book."

Lillian sighed.
It was about to be the sweetest thing she'd ever heard.

Jax smiled at her.
"What about you, you obviously love books."

"Yea." Lillian nodded. "It got me through really hard times."

Lillian had her hands on the table and she scratched at her thumb with her other thumb and forefinger.
"I remember when I was eight, there was this book on the shelf and it just sat there, no one touched it and for days I just held back and wanted so badly to pick it up and read. Get away from everything."

"Why didn't you?"

Lillian snapped out of her reverie and looked at him.
"I didn't want to do anything to upset the family."

"Why would your family be upset that you took a book to read?"

Lillian stopped scratching at her thumb and Jax's eyes fell to her hands and went up to meet her gaze.
"They weren't my family." She said quietly.

She hadn't told anyone anything about her past. Deidre just knew she was raised at an Orphanage and had gotten out when she turned eighteen.

"They had taken me in a few days back." The scratching started again, "My first family and I didn't want to do or say anything that would have them sending me back to the Orphanage."

Jax sat there, his heart in his mouth as feelings erupted inside him causing chaos within him. He wanted to reach out and take her into his arms and keep her there forever so nothing could touch her but all he did was sit there and listen.

"I eventually got the book one evening while their parents fought." She said, "It was the one thing they let me keep when they returned me back a few days later."

Jax's gaze fell to her hand and his hands fisted at the thought of eight years old Lily alone with her book. That's when he saw red.

No, he actually saw red.

Blood.

Jax snatched at Lillian's hand from the assault on her finger. It was red, if she'd scratched at it any longer, she would've broken the skin. Lillian looked at him and smiled.

"Sorry." She said, "Bad habit."