Love & Serenity

Chapter 27

Jax had no idea what was going on with Lillian for the past few days. She seemed distant and he couldn't figure out why. She was on his mind every time he wasn't trying hard to focus on his projects and he could guess why that was.

He had feelings for her and it was messing him up internally.

Lillian was the first person he'd gotten really close to and let get close to him without all that glamour and glitz. For the first time, he was real with a woman and she was real too, no masks, just their true selves. If he was being honest, that sort of scared him when he figured out what was actually going on between them. But instead of pulling away and running in the opposite direction, he'd taken a deep breath and taken a step forward.

Lillian wasn't what he'd expected a woman he'd have feelings for would turn out to be. She was more than he'd expected and regardless of where things went, he loved being around her and getting to know more about her, even sharing things about him that no one knew about. He felt free when he was with her like he could truly be himself, and he'd been hiding for so long that it felt refreshing to open up to someone, especially someone he was having romantic feelings for.

There was that side of him that loved everything that was happening between them and there was the other part that was scared, the one he was choosing not to let dominate his feelings.

With the annual fall fest in less than a week, everyone had their hands on deck, even kids were helping out with decoration amongst other stuff. While everyone was still running their personal businesses, they still found the time to help out with other things. Mindy, Hank and Lillian took a break after lunch hours to help in some of the committees before they went back hours later to get started on dinner.

Jax, who was helping Tucker with the stage design and setup, only had the chance of seeing Lillian when he went to have lunch, and it was just for a moment because the diner was usually crowded a lot more as it was kept open for an hour before everyone went back out to continue with the preparation.

Jax stopped at Mindy's for dinner in hopes that he'd get to catch Lillian when there was no rush but Mindy said she'd left a while back. Jax had his dinner and drove back to his place.

Walking into his place, he turned the lights on as soon as he walked inside, Otto was there waiting for him.

"Hey there buddy." Jax placed his key in the bowl on the table at the entrance and scratched Otto's head.

Davis had checked Otto for the last time a few days ago and cleared him, so Otto was back to a hundred percent and hadn't stayed in one place since Jax had brought him home that day.

Otto barked and then raced to the glass door leading to the patio. Otto ran back to him, barked and ran back to the patio and barked some more.

"You want to go outside?" Jax asked as he made his way towards Otto and slid the door open.

Without wasting any more time, Otto dove outside and quickly made its way down the stairs and towards the ocean.

"Otto, hold on." Jax stepped outside and slid the door shut.

As he walked down the stairs, he saw Otto running towards a lone figure that stood there in the dark and he smiled.

Of course. Otto.
Jax calmly and slowly made his way towards Otto.

Lillian turned when she heard the barking and smiled when Otto ran towards her and wagged its tail.

"Hey there buddy." Lillian leaned down and scratched the spot behind its ear. "I see your leg's healed."

Otto looked up at her as his tongue hung out of its mouth. Lillian smiled and ran her hand down its head and it seemed to like that.

"Hey."

Lillian pulled away and immediately turned around to see Jax a few feet away heading closer.
"Hi."

"I didn't see your car."

"I walked." Lillian said, "I needed this." She glanced back at the ocean.

Jax nodded understanding that she couldn't pass through the unsafe path from her place leading to the ocean especially at night. After what happened the other time, he hadn't seen her pass through there.

"How are you enjoying the days leading up to the fest?"

Lillian glanced at him with a smile.
"It's been fun. I'm enjoying every second of it."

"Good." Jax said, "You've been really keeping busy."

Lillian looked at him.
"So have you."

Jax smiled.
"I stopped by Mindy's a while ago hoping to catch you."

"Oh?"

Jax looked at her.
"We haven't hung out in a while."

Jax's gaze pierced deep into hers and she looked back at the ocean with a sigh and a nod.
"Yea, I know. It's been crazy with everything that's happening." Lillian said, "I haven't done anything like this before. It makes me feel included like..."

Jax watched her and waited.

Lillian smiled.
"One big happy family."

Lillian smiled and sighed. He was watching her.
"You sure that's all?"

Lillian looked at him and shook her head.
"What do you mean?"

It was Jax's turn to look away.
"I just..." He sighed, "It feels like you've been distant."

Jax looked at her.

"I..." Lillian swallowed and looked away, "I've just been really busy, that's all."

Jax sighed and nodded his head.
"If that's all then great."

Lillian nodded not knowing what to say. She'd literally given up her worry and placed it in God's very capable hands. Apparently, there was still a part of her that kept remembering that woman and that might have had her pulling away from Jax without really meaning to.

"I'm sorry." She said quickly as she looked at him, "I didn't know it seemed that way like I was pulling away."

Jax looked at her.
"Were you?"

She let out a breath.
"Unintentionally."

"Lily," Jax turned to face her, "I've enjoyed spending time with you and I always seem to be looking forward to it. I don't know what happened but I really do miss this, us just hanging out."

Lillian smiled and nodded.
"Me too."

Jax let out an audible breath.
"Good. I just wanted to clear that up."

He turned back to face the ocean and Lillian smiled, her eyes still on him. She glanced down at his hand, next to hers. Before second-guessing it, she reached for his hand and slipped her fingers between his.

Jax glanced at their hands before looking at her. Then he smiled and gave her hand a squeeze in his. Lillian smiled and they both looked back at the ocean, enjoying the view and standing there in the cool night air next to each other.