Find a Light (JenLisa Adaptation)

1

It was a burning sensation, a ball of fire boiling up in her stomach, tying it in knots before shooting like a racket up to her chest, to burn and squeeze all life out of her heart. Her lungs seemed to constrict, making it impossible for the oxygen she so desperately needed to fight through.

She wondered if it was possible to die from this horrible pain eating at her. It sure felt like she was dying in that moment and maybe, she would even welcome death with open arms, but then, her mouth automatically opened up wide, gasping for air, and her lungs took in as much as they could.

A shame, really, dying would have made her happier.

Tears only increased, wetting her cheeks, dripping down onto the destroyed papers and mingling with the blood seeping out of her hand. She flexed her fingers and her nails bit into the cut, causing even more blood to trickle out of the wound. The searing pain that aroused and radiated from the deep cut in her palm up to every one of her fingers and only stopped at the tip of her nails was almost a relief for her.

She wanted to hurt, she wanted to be in as much pain as... as she was when that black SUV crashed into her car. Her brain didn't want to imagine what went on in her head that night, she just wanted to suffer as much as she did.

The front door opened, she could hear the lock turning, but she didn't turn around from her spot on the floor. She didn't care who it was, it wasn't her, she would never come through that door again. The person behind her stepped in and took a sharp breath, the door quietly clicking shut.

Quiet and hesitant footsteps started to approach her trembling form until they stood right next to her. One glance sideways towards the person's shoes was enough for her to know who it was.

He crouched down, his mouth releasing a small sigh. "What happened here?" He didn't get an answer. It was clear what had happened, wasn't it? He only had to take a good look around the apartment, she really didn't think it needed an explanation. "Lisa, you're bleeding." Her brother's hand shot out and softly grasped her wrist before Lisa could even think about pulling her hand out of his sight. "Sweetheart, what did you do?"

Instead of answering his question, she took a shaky breath and shot him one of her own, "How did you get in here?"

"I got the spare key from the landlord. We were all so worried about you." His eyes wandered down, settling on the ripped papers splayed all around Lisa, and his heart clenched when he realized what it was. "You... you shouldn't have ripped these. You two spent so much on –"

"There won't be a wedding." Lisa spat and turned her head towards her brother, shooting him a hard glare, "I don't need them anymore, Jinu."

Fresh tears started to trickle out of her eyes as she grabbed two handfuls of the shreds before letting them fall to the floor again. "She's gone." Lisa quietly murmured and tiredly looked down at the remains of their wedding preparations, "She's not coming back."

Jin-woo opened his mouth to comfort his sister but nothing worth saying came to his mind. He wished he was more eloquent, more like their mother who always knew what to say. But most of all, he wished that he could somehow turn back time so that his sister's fiancée wouldn't end up in that horrid car crash.

With knitted eyebrows, Jin-woo pressed his lips together for the first time since he stepped into the apartment, he saw how bad Lisa really looked; dark rings under her bloodshot eyes, cheeks blotchy with dried tears and her red nose stood out like a shining light in the darkness on Lisa's sickly pale skin. Her body shivered a little and Jin-woo wondered if she was cold, despite that it was a cloudy but pretty warm August day.