Find a Light (JenLisa Adaptation)

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Her head was screaming for her to stop, shrill warning bells rang in her ears but her heart was banging so furiously against her ribcage that all she could do was move herself closer to those soft and delicious lips and, oh God, they were kissing her back.

She wouldn't let it happen again, she definitely wouldn't do the same thing she did to Nicole. Jennie didn't deserve it, she just didn't. Lisa hated herself for how she always made people feel like they made a mistake, even though they didn't and Lisa was the sole problem, even though they were absolutely perfect. But why the hell was she kissing her? That surely wouldn't help the situation. Not at all.

But she just couldn't stop.

Lisa pulled away enough to let her teeth sink into Jennie's bottom lip, the surprised breath the feline eyed woman sucked in almost pushing her over the edge. A pair of small slim arms snuck around her neck, pulled her closer, which was all Lisa needed to throw all of her doubts and restrictions overboard.

Lisa's hand slipped from Jennie's cheeks, her arms wrapping around Jennie's waist and, God, she was so... soft and warm, and when Jennie's tongue hesitantly brush over her lip, something exploded deep inside of her.

A groan rumbled through Lisa's chest, a fierce fire building in her lower belly, burning away everything in her mind. Feet stumbled over themselves as Jennie's back collided with the wall, Lisa caging her in and continuing to caress the brunette woman's mouth with her own.

This was what she wanted, needed, craved. This was everything she thought about since the ice rink. And man, it was even better than she had imagined it. One of Jennie's hand slid over Lisa's hair until I rested against her cheek. Warm shivers ran up Lisa's spine when they pulled away from each other, eyes closed and mind and heart drinking up the feeling of Jennie's thumb brushing over her bottom lip.

"Lisa..." Her eyes fluttered open when Jennie breathed her name against her mouth but almost immediately dropped shut when she leaned in again, capturing Jennie's bottom lip between her lips. A light sigh – of relief, almost – rushed out of her and her hands took hold of Jennie's hips before she slowly broke the kiss.

"Please don't say anything now," she pleaded in a hushed voice, her forehead falling against Jennie's, "Please."

And she didn't. She just stood there, with Lisa leaning on her, her right hand joining her left one in cupping Lisa's face, thumbs soothingly running over the skin just underneath her eyes. Lisa could feel Jennie's chest against her own, rising up and down with every slow breath. Up and down, up... and down.

After what felt like ages – in reality just a couple of minutes – Lisa released a long breath but kept her eyes closed. "There you have it, Jennie." She said calmly, "Everything is wrong."

That was all she said before she tore herself away from the smaller woman. Gaze kept on the ground, she took the couple of steps back to her door and turned the key around. Jennie's voice, calling her name, reached her ears one last time before she walked inside and pushed the door shut.

Loud knock on the door and Jennie's voice telling her to open up, made Lisa realize what she had actually just done.

She had kissed Jennie.

She had kissed... Jennie.

One of the worst things she could have done and she did it. She did it. She kissed Jennie. But man, what a kiss that was. Her head was still reeling, fingers tingling, lips and tongue still tasting Jennie.

"Lisa, please open the door!" Three loud knocks. "Please, you can't... you can't leave me out here like that."

Oh, but she can... and she will. Because she was nothing more than a coward, just like she always had been. Closing her eyes and biting the inside of her lip, Lisa let herself fall back against the door, the knocks vibrating against her spine and Jennie's voice louder, clearer. "Please don't do this, please! Let's just talk about this! Please just open the door..."