Find a Light (JenLisa Adaptation)

11

...

Nicole quietly approached Lisa, smiling sadly when she saw what her fiancée was looking at. With her forearms leaning on the backrest of the sofa, she took a good look over Lisa's shoulder, her eyes scanning over the picture of the younger versions of Lisa and Jinwoo and their mother. "Is everything okay?"

Nicole's quiet voice seemed to startle Lisa, her body tensing up before she relaxed again. "Yeah. I'm fine." She frowned and shot a glance at the woman behind her before sighing and turning back to the photo in her hands. "I wish she was still here. I would have loved to have her at our wedding."

Nicole smiled and nodded her head, placing her hand on Lisa's arm and softly beginning to stroke her sweater clad skin. "I wish I could have met her."

"Yeah, well." Lisa sighed and put the picture down, turning her head and tightly smiling at Nicole, "You came two years too late for that."

A silence fell over them as Lisa turned back to look at the picture, her smile falling. It's been over eight years but the memory of her mother was still as fresh as it could be. She remembered the time shortly after her father had left and nightmares started to plague her sleep, the only cure for them being the soothing sound of her mother's singing.

And she remembered her mother getting weaker and weaker until the deadly disease finally succeeded and all she was able to do was stop fighting.

"She's still here though. She will be at our wedding."

Lisa snorted and craned her head to look at an encouragingly smiling Nicole. "Oh really? You believe that?"

"Sure." Her arms wrapped around Lisa's neck, chin coming to rest on her shoulder. "People we care about... they don't just completely disappear. Not even after death. They always linger around, protecting and looking out for the people they love. You can't see or hear them but sometimes... you can feel them with you. You never completely lose them."

Nicole placed her hand flatly over the spot on Lisa's chest where her heart laid, her voice quietening down to just above a whisper. "They're in here," her fingers gently drummed on Lisa's chest in perfect harmony with her heartbeat. Lisa sucked in a deep breath and placed her own hand on top of Nicole's. "They stay here. Forever."

...

Lisa frowned at the memory, her fingers absentmindedly running over the skin where her heart laid underneath strong and shielding bones. When Nicole died, in that sterile, white hospital room, Lisa had felt her heart painfully accelerating, only for it to slow down to an almost complete stop when it finally sunk in that she wouldn't see Nicole ever again. She would never touch her again, never hear her speak or laugh again. It had felt as if Lisa herself was dying too, and it still felt like that sometimes, even three years later.

But she survived. How... she had no idea. It still hurt, every day, every minute she was separated from Nicole. She still remembered every little detail about her. It didn't matter that she was gone, something of her lingered and Lisa could feel her everywhere she went. Nicole was right.

People you care about don't just... fade away completely.

But Lisa didn't want her like that. She wanted to hold her, she wanted to kiss her, to hear her voice. She just wanted her to come back. Especially now, with the entire situation with Rosé poisoning her brain. Guilt gnawed at her when she thought back to that awful Friday, Rosé's scared and sad face burning into her mind and not leaving her alone.