Cupid's Arrow

Epilogue.

It'd been a while since that faithful night. And no, I wasn't talking about the night of the dance, I was talking about the night Evan and I broke up for good.

I know, I know. Shocker.

We didn't get into a fight. He didn't mess up and I didn't either. We didn't drift apart. In fact, we grew closer. It was a mutual thing, and it was less painful this way. I hadn't fully gotten over him, but I was happy for him, wherever he was.

We both knew we wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. The long distance thing, I mean. I was sure I loved him and he loved me, but we both knew that we wouldn't be able to handle the stress. We both knew we needed to accept change whenever it came. Maybe something better would after Evan, even if it hadn't come yet. I knew my special someone was out there, somewhere, and it wasn't Evan.

Over the months we'd been together he really did prove to love me. He bought me gifts, checked up on me each day and made me feel I mattered. I wasn't going to lie, it broke my heart when we split up, but it was for the best.

When our college applications came through, we talked. He was supposed to move all the way to Boston for his university. A five hour drive; we could still visit each other without problems. But we would be in completely different worlds and circles that it would be so hard to bare. And the issue of trust - it would be a lot harder to handle when he was five hours away doing completely different things. Neither of us was ready for the heartbreak and constant arguing that would follow if we did decide to go long distance. So we split up.

We hadn't even seen each other since we split up. But we would be today, and I didn't know how I felt about it. I wasn't sure yet. I was torn between feeling happy because I was about to be reunited with my friend and being sad because I hadn't seen him in such a long time.

I was nervous because I didn't know if this was hard for him, too. Had he moved on with someone else? It was a strange feeling, thinking of him with someone else like that without feeling jealousy, just sadness. I didn't know which was worse. I didn't know if he moved on or if he still felt the empty feeling inside that reminded him that we weren't together anymore. That we'd parted for the best.

It was a gruelling process and it took time getting over him. And I still wasn't completely over him. There were times when I just saw down at thought about our time together or the things we used to do together. But it wasn't because I missed him in that way, it was simply because I missed having that type of relationship even if I still wasn't ready. I wondered if Evan did this too, or if it was simply to painful for him to reminisce like I did. I wished he did, but not to hold on to me, to remember. I didn't want to be forgotten and tossed out of his life like that. Just like I wouldn't forget him easily.

My friends had helped a lot, too. Jasmine and Sophie. She'd gotten herself a boyfriend before we even broke up. She'd even taken the liberty to come to me and confess after we'd broken up because she'd felt guilty, when it was in no way her fault that we'd split up. The two of them set up plenty of girls nights until it was time for each and every one of them to go their separate ways. But we were still in touch. It was hard letting go of those one had cherished for the majority of one's life. Change had to be welcomed.

If I were the same heartbroken person I was quite a while ago, then I would feel like I was sick in the head because I wouldn't want him to have moved on. I would've wanted him to hold back onto the memories we'd shared together until we reunited again so that we could continue from where we left off. But I wasn't that person anymore. Now, I prayed that he had indeed moved on and had someone in his life even. I wanted to know he was happy living a completely different life wherever he was. I would be at peace after that. I was sure.