Love Like Ghost

right where you left me

I stared up at the house it casting an ominous shadow over the lawn. It stood there empty and haunted; time had very much taken over it. The grass and bushes was far over grown, vines snuck up every wall covering most of the right side completely. The fire had caused minor damage to the lower left side near the basement, but the structure stayed in tact. Well, besides rust and weather damage.

I never noticed it when I left.

I walked forward up the path to the front door. This was the only address in the file Nat had given me so I went to it hoping to find the answers I was looking for. Everything was there, but none of it made sense to me. How had I ever gotten to America in the first place if my passport expired? No wonder Pierce kept such a close eye on me throughout my working with S.H.I.E.L.D. I suspected Hydra had been pulling my strings all along.

I pushed the door open it creaking with rust feeling the true emptiness of the house. I kept walking; not a single thing had changed since I left. No one came to clean up, or collect our stuff. It just stayed here right where we had left it all.

A thick layer of dust covered every surface as I climbed the stairs. I could hear our laughter, our cries, our screams as I kept walking. It felt like I was in some sort of dream, a different reality. It felt like a different life of mine that version of us dying here. I shivered chills running down me.

The house felt full of ghost, our love being one of them.

I got to the top floor walking through the wreckage we had caused. Bullet shells and glass met my wake as I wadded through the mess of it all. Her paintings laid there ruined from us. I bent down running my fingers along the ruined frame closing my eyes. The breath left me broken and cracked as that night came full force into my memories. I saw his face clear as day running after me.

What had we become?

I stood up continuing to walk across the hall to the open window. Wind blew in through the broken glass blowing the torn up curtains around me. My life was never happy here except those small moments with her and him. And even then those memories were always tainted by that night. The murders, the lies, all of it casted a shadow over the good parts. I should forget all of this...

I sighed, none of this matter anymore. Every possible answer just led to more questions...when would it end? It was over, that time was gone. I had become this person now, so isn't that who I should be? Karpov, Nikolai, Bucky...I should just let it all go. He would have stayed if he loved me. He wouldn't have gone back to them. I was just a fool for thinking there was another reason.

I went back down the stairs to go into the basement the smell of an old fire floating around. Blackness covered the walls and floor; the smoke must have billowed its way upward to filter through the house. I could see the broken cryo chamber from here glass underneath it on the ground. My heart beat loudly in my ears air feeling tight in my throat. I felt panic, I felt fear walking closer to it. This basement had been all of my worst memories.

I stopped suddenly just before the room.

"What are you doing here?" I said to him behind me.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. I turned to face him as if this isn't right where he had left me.

I planted my feet to the ground. "I came here for answers."

His face was flat. "Me too."

My first curled, "What do you need answers of?! You attacked me and abandoned me here!"

He stared at me a moment a blank expression on his face. "I was trying to protect you." He closed his eyes. "You weren't safe out here."

"So what? Were you planning on getting me out?" He just shook his head. "You left me in there for almost 20 years!"