Love Like Ghost

forever winter

I'll be summer sun for you forever

-

He guided me down until my butt sank into the cushioned mattress. His hand never left the small of my back as he sat down next to me. I blinked my vision stagnant on the space ahead of me knowing he was staring at me.

There was nothing to say.

"I'll be right back." He stood up walking out of the room. I stayed there waiting for something to happen to me, waiting for him to move me again, staring at nothing. He came back after a few minutes and I heard him close the door behind him. He walked over to me bending down to one of his knees in front of me. "Here." He said bringing something up to my face. It was wet. It was a towel. "Do you want to shower?" He asked, but I couldn't respond. He began wiping my face, under my eyes, my tear stained cheeks, under my jaw, down my neck. He picked up my hands bringing the towel down to my fingers.

I pulled my hand back. "Please." My voice came out raw our eyes finally meeting. I tucked my hand away keeping whatever dust collected under my nails with me.

"Kitty..."

"Please." The tear slipped down my face. "It's all I have left of him."

Steve took a sharp inhale getting off of the ground in front of me. "Are you hungry at all?" I didn't respond. "Do you want me to lay down with you?" I didn't respond. He gently lowered me down until I was lying in the bed. He pulled the covers up and around me tucking me away in it all. I stared at nothing. I heard him step away and walked back towards the door. "I'm here if you need anything." He left closing the door behind him leaving me in darkness.

~

The room flooded with light, feet padding across carpet over to where I was lying. Steve's face came level with mine, "I brought you some food." He said setting a plate on the bedside table. His eyes lingered on the full one he had left from last time, he sighed. "You have to eat Kitty." He said his hand coming around my face.

I pulled away from his touch.

Steve exhaled air letting his hand fall back beside him. "Let me know if you need anything okay?" He stood up and left leaving me in the dark rook once again.

~

We were sitting in the chair in front of the fire strong arms wrapped around me. He held me close to him my body molded into his like it had always belonged there. His hand was playing with my hair.

"I wish things weren't going to change." I whispered out. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

He just kept breathing beneath me. I picked my head up and looked at him, "Everything changes." He said as if that made it easier.

His eyes bore into me and then he was gone disintegrating against my body until he was a pile of ash.

"No." I turned completely around. "No please!" I screamed trying to sift through it to find him. "No!" I sobbed.

The house shook with my scream until I felt the floorboards shake.

"Kitty!" He was shaking me. "Kitty wake up!" He arms were around my body holding me as I still felt my throat screaming.

My eyes flew open Steve's face coming into view blurry from tears. The screaming finally stopped only to turn into heavy breathing that turned into a quiet sob. "I didn't mean to fall asleep." I shook my head as he pulled me to his chest. "I didn't want to sleep."

"It's okay." He stroked my head. "It's okay."

Every-time I close my eyes I saw him, I saw his body become nothing. I didn't want to see it anymore, it was too much. "I didn't want to sleep." I said again.