Umbrella Boy (Spiderman Fanfiction & Umbrella Academy)

Adventures in Babysitting a Teen Assassin

This is the start of episode three.

Peter's leg was healing slowly but surely from the gunshot wound he received from the two assassins just hours before. He'd gone through thousands of calories trying to keep up with his body's fast metabolism, but he still felt tired and sluggish despite the copious amount of burritos and jello he'd consumed. 

Nevertheless, he'd had to consume all of the said food while following Five down the fire escape and into the alley where Klaus was rummaging desperately through the dumpster.

"I just misplaced something," Klaus said as if it explained everything. "Aha!" Peter's nose scrunched as he ate the old, moldy bagel that had been lying on the floor of the dumpster for an unknown amount of time. 

"I'm done feeding your drug habit," Five was unconvinced as he replied matter of factly. Klaus sputtered as he attempted to rebuke Five's statement.

"Maybe I just want to hang out with my brother!" Peter shook his head sadly. He walked over to Klaus and cupped his cheek gently. 

"You've got to start taking care of yourself," he spoke gently as if afraid he would disappear. He brushed his thumb over the soft skin of his cheek in a loving caress. "Stay safe."Klaus stared deeply into Peter's eyes as if they held secrets that only he would know. Peter turned away after only a few moments. "I've got to go babysit our kid now. See you later."

"Your the best mom in the world!" Klaus yelled from the dumpster as Peter jogged to catch up with Five before he sped off in the car without him. 

They pulled up to, yet again, another company in search of the eye. As soon as they'd stopped Five reached into the backseat to pull Delores out of the bag she'd been in since the attack at the clothing store. "I'm sorry you were in there so long Delores," spoke Five fondly as if speaking to a close friend. He sat her directly between them in the front seat. Peter did his best not to listen in to their conversation as it seemed private to Five. 

They waited for a long chunk of time and the sun had begun to set when Luther opened the backseat of the van and got in with Klaus. 

"Don't look now. We're really starting to hit it off back here," Klaus wiggled his eyebrows as he held Delores. Peter gave him a disappointed look that could have shook even the strongest of men. 

"You can't be here. Get out! I'm in the middle of something." Five had no patience to spare for the two as they interrupted his well-planned endeavor. 

"Any luck finding your one-eyed man?" Klaus ignored him as he continued. Luther could do nothing but watch in confusion as even Klaus knew more than him in this situation.

"He's obviously not the responsible parent," Peter muttered as he watched the exchange carefully.

"What's he talkin' about?" Luther ignored Peter's muttering. 

"Does it matter? It's Klaus." Peter himself felt a pang in his heart at Five's words. 

"That was uncalled for," he said flatly. Five only shot him a heated glare.

"What do you want Luther?" questioned Five as he finally turned in his chair to face him.

"So, Grace might have had something to do with Dad's dea-" 

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Peter turned in his seat with eyes full of fire to stare Luther down. "You're going to accuse the woman who raised us now, too?"

"I just need you guys to come back to the Academy immediately, all right? It's important," Peter had to resist the urge to slit his throat right then and there. Five seemed to fill up with rage at his last statement as well, but for completely different reasons. Even so, Luther was beginning to be outnumbered.

"You have no concept of what is important," Five spoke through gritted teeth.

"Hey-" Klaus interjected. "Did I ever tell you guys about the time I waxed my ass with chocolate pudding?" Peter could have kissed him for distracting him from his murderous thoughts at that moment. "It was so painful." Peter let out a little giggle.

"What are you still doing here?" Luther didn't find the statement comical as he watched Klaus with disdain. "We're trying to have a serious conversation."

"You think I'm incapable of being serious. Is that what you're saying?"

Five only nodded, "Luther's right. You should get out." Peter felt his heart drop at his dejected face.

"Come on Klaus. We don't need to stay with these Party Poopers anyway. Let's go get some ice cream." Peter could do nothing but shoot a disappointed look at Five as they exited the van. 

I finally updated. I'm surprised too, to be honest.