That night in Monaco

Chapter 19

"She promised not to let him go."

Days passed, I was spending most of my time with Charles without realising that I would be getting married tomorrow. I had such a lovely time with Charles. We went out every day, he played the piano for me and we always had cozy nights. However, today was our last day. Our last day as a couple. The last day I could be with him without being married to someone else. Our last day sleeping together and therefore being together. I hadn't thought that it would hurt that much. I felt my heart break in ways I never thought was possible. Just thinking that he wouldn't be mine anymore made me weak to my knees. It was like I had to leave a piece of my soul and never look back. I wished things were different, I wish I had a happy ending with Charles instead of having to let him go. I couldn't do it, not now at least. 

Charles got to the bedroom, scaring me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Are you ok?" "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. "Anna, what's going on? I can tell that something is troubling you, so please tell me." "Fine. It's just...the whole thing with the wedding. I don't want to talk about it, not now at least." "Ok I respect your choice. However, what you would say if we went out to the beach tonight to watch the sunset? Would that make you a little bit happier?" "I would love that Charles." I said and got to him. I gave him a tiny kiss and hugged him. "It's settled then." he said and rested his chin on my head. I could get enough of him. I wouldn't have that after tomorrow and it hurt like hell. We stayed like that for a bit and then he pulled away. "Let's cuddle, Anna." "Yes please." 

We laid on the bed and he pulled me in his chest. I could feel his heartbeat against my ear. It was so relaxing that I closed my eyes, feeling his breath on my head. He was everything I needed and I couldn't have him. That sick feeling in my stomach was tearing me apart. "Please, don't cry, Anna. I can't watch you suffer like that." he said. I hadn't realised I was crying until he wiped my tears away. I hugged him
tighter and just tried not to cry any longer. It was difficult but after a moment I managed it. Closing my eyes, I let myself go and sleep took me to a magical place where everything was so calm and happy.

I woke up to Charles saying my name. "Anna, wake up. I think it's time to go to the beach. It is almost time." he said. How could I be so foolish to waste my final hours with Charles sleeping? I got up and quickly got ready. I wore a simple white dress and Charles wore a pair of shorts and a navy blue T-shirt. We put our shoes on and headed to the beach.

When we arrived, I was shocked by the view. The reddish-gold sunset reflecting on the calm and crystal water of the sea. It was the perfect painting. The gold sand and the sun slowly dying, letting the moon appear filling the night sky with all kinds of stars. And then again in the morning the sun would be born again letting its light flow everywhere. It was amazing how two different things would need each other for the world to be complete. I felt the same way about Charles. We were just like the sun and the moon. He always shone so bright that it filled my heart. He made me happy. He gave me a reason to dream and to hope. He was my light in dark situations. He guided me when I couldn't but most of all he showed me the way home, to him. He was my sunlight that made my world a better and safer place. And I was his moonlight. There, in the shadows. I was there for him, supporting him, filling him with my own light, letting my stars guide him back to me. Together we were complete. There was balance. We were equals, the perfect puzzle as I remembered. Then, I realised that he was my other half. I couldn't live without him. I loved him. That thought never came to my mind but I knew that deep down I had loved him since the moment his eyes met mine that day before the race. He had captivated me, that look on his green eyes burning into my mind had created a bond between me and him. Those eyes made me fall for him instantly.

We sat down on the sand, admiring the sunset. We didn't speak because we both knew that from the time we would start talking we would have eventually to let go. I didn't think that we were ready for this but here we were in this situation. I was resting my head on his shoulder feeling his warmth on my cheek. Everything seemed so perfect but I knew they weren't. I broke the silence first.

"I don't want to marry him, Charles." "I know Anna, I know." "A part of me really wanted you to be there, down the aisle instead of him." "I wish it could happen Anna. It will break my heart seeing you walking down that aisle, pretending to be happy when you aren't." "It will tear me apart walking past you, while looking at him. While looking at the man I am forced to marry and not the man I want." I said and got up. Charles did the same. I was now facing him, my eyes burning into his. "Charles" I said. "I want you to forget about me. Find another girl and be happy. I don't want you to wait for me. Let me go. It would be the best for both of us." "No, Anna. I will not forget you. I don't care that you are going to be married, I will never let you go. I promise to be there for you." "Don't, Charles. I need to let go. I need to let you go. It hurts so much, I don't think I can do it."

"I want to marry you, to have children with you, to grow old with you but I have given up every hope. Maybe we weren't meant to be together in the end. You were always too good for me, I didn't deserve you. However I am glad I got to spend those two months with you. They were the best in my life and I will never forget them." "Please Anna don't do this. We can make it." I started crying but I didn't care. "We can't, Charles, we can't." I said. "Yes we can, Anna. I love you." he said and I froze. He said he loved me. I couldn't believe it. How could he love someone like me? "Please don't make it harder than it already is. If I say those three words, I will never be able to let you go." I said and buried my face in his chest. "Then don't" he said and I now rested my forehead on his. "I love you Charles, Charles Leclerc. Always and forever." I said and he kissed me slowly. I didn't want this to end. However the moment his lips touched mine the sun was gone and now there was only darkness in the sky. That meant that our time had come. I wasn't his anymore and he wasn't mine. 

"He was her sun and she was his moon."