That night in Monaco

Chapter 35

Tw: possible mention of miscarriage

"They have felt a lot better since the incident."

~I was standing in front of the sea back on the island, I grew up watching the sunset for probably the last time. In my hands, I was holding a letter Charles gave me before the race back in Monaco. The last time he raced in his life. And... the last thing he did before tragedy hit him once again. But this time it left something permanent in my life... his death. He went to find our daughter, up to the sky, leaving me here alone to deal with that. With cold eyes, heart and hands I decided to read what his final words to me were.

Anna,

I wrote this letter in case anything bad ever happens in a race. I hoped I would never have to give you this but today I have a feeling, so if you are reading this then I am probably not alive. I am so sorry mon amour, I never wanted for this to happen. I also know that I broke a promise I had made to you long ago, the promise where I was never going to get hurt from racing but I guess both of us knew that I couldn't control that. There are a few things I want you to know, I am so grateful and thankful to have met you, to have married you and to have had that little angel with you. I changed my life for the better, Anna, making me a far better person than I thought I would be. So, thank Anna. It was a pleasure meeting you, falling in love with you, and loving you. I will be watching you from up there and I will tell our daughter everything about you. I am always there for you and that will never change. I will always protect you and guide you just like you did. I love you Anna, always and forever.

Yours,

C.Leclerc

When I finished reading his letter, I dried the tears I didn't know had fallen, folded the letter and threw it as far as I could to the sea. I didn't want to do anything with it or with him. He was dead, I was here alive what was the point in keeping it?. I had lost my daughter and the love of my life, why have faith now? I turned my back and left promising that I would never set foot to this beach and to Monaco. I would not go back to that city ever again especially to that specific restaurant. Everything that reminds me of him means nothing to me for the rest of my life. However, as I was walking I heard a voice calling my name again and again so I turned to the direction of the voice.~

"Anna! Anna! Wake up! Mon amour!" Charles said as I was trying to open my eyes. When I finally did I saw his worried expression plastered on his face. "What happened? You are crying." When I refused to look at him he gently grabbed my chin and forced me to look directly at his emerald green eyes that I adored. "Look at me mon amour please. What did you see this time? Tell me, I wanna know." After I took a few deep breaths and calmed myself in Charles' arms, I was finally able to explain to him what I had seen. It was the second time I have watched something like that. Although I didn't know if I should worry, I told Charles. "I watched myself in front of the sea back in Lesvos during a sunset reading a letter that you gave me before you died in the Grand Prix of Monaco. I then remember that I threw the letter in the sea and turned to leave forgetting you and promising to never go again to not only that beach but to Monaco, as well."

"Well, I am not going anywhere. I am here, I am alright, so you won't have to worry about me." "I know but I can't control my dream. I am just thankful that you are always there for me." "I have told you so many times mon amour. I am always by your side. I will never leave you Anna. I love you." "Je t'aime Charles." "Oh I like that." he said chuckled. "Are you feeling better now?" "Yes much better. Thank you Charles." I said and we went back to sleep.

We woke up the next day at around 8:00 o'clock as we would have to leave for the airport with the rest of the team in 2 hours. Soon after we did our morning routine, we went to the hotel restaurant in order to have breakfast. There we found Carlos and he joined our table so we could enjoy our breakfast together. I ate 4 pancakes, Charles ate milk with cereal whereas Carlos ate an omelette. Therefore we all drank a glass of juice and the boys finished their breakfast with a croissant. 

When our breakfast ended, we went to get our luggage from our rooms and we met again in the lobby from where we left for the airport along with the rest of team. Our way to the airport was small and relaxing. We all discussed how the weekend went and what we liked about the city. The people working for Ferrari were always so friendly and kind that I loved having conversations with them. They seemed to like me as well which is something really positive as I would be Charles' wife in about 3 months.

After we arrived at the airport we split up and me and Charles went to our jet. During the flight we read a book and talked about Charles' race yesterday. I told him how much I liked what he did during the podium celebration. We ended up saying positive things not just talking about our daughter. Day by day, it was getting easier for both of us. Of course, it didn't hurt less but we learnt to deal with the pain and have it in our minds as something positive instead of forgetting it which was something we didn't want in any case.

Five hour later we arrived at the airport of Bologna. After we took our luggage, we spoke to the team for the last time and said goodbye to them. We then took Charles's Ferrari and drove all the way to Firenze. We decided to stay in Italy in order to spend some time together in another place, to feel better after our difficult week. Charles had an apartment in Firenze so it was the perfect opportunity.

An hour and 41 minutes later we arrived at Charles' apartment. It was near the centre of the city and it was beautiful. We could also enjoy the breathtaking view of the river and the picturesque landscape of the city. I fell in love with Firenze from the first look. "You like it?" Charles asked. "Yes. I love it. The city is so spectacular. I have never been to a place like this. It is beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here, Charles." "We needed a littles break, so I thought this would be the perfect place. I am glad you liked it. I can not wait to spend this week here with you. I will show the city and take you to my favourite places." "I can't wait. But for now, where are we going for dinner?" "There is a small restaurant nearby with delicious food. Why don't we go there?" "I agree." "Then let's get ready." 

I chose to wear my emerald green midi dress with bell-shaped sleeves covered in floral pattern lace. I paired the outfit with my nude high heels. I did a quite natural eye look but for the lips I chose my favourite red lipstick from Yves Saint Lauren. Last but not least, I made a very loose bun. Charles ,on the other hand, wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a white dress shirt. He was so handsome without even trying. He was all mine and I couldn't be more thankful. "You are absolutely stunning mon amour." "You are not bad yourself." I chuckled. "Let's go." he said and we left the apartment. 

Our dinner was delicious. Charles was right, the restaurant was so good that I enjoyed every bite of my steak. After that we decided to go for a little evening walk to see Firenze at night. I had the best time as Charles took me to the best places. I was looking forward to exploring Firenze in the morning and going to the shops. We would have so much fun together, I was sure about it. But for the rest of the evening we returned to the apartment, sat on the balcony and had a glass of red wine. At 12 o'clock we went to sleep, as we were tired from our huge journey today. Tomorrow we would go sightseeing and we were both excited about that.

"She loved Firenze so much."