That night in Monaco

Chapter 20

"The hardest day of her life came and she wasn't ready."

Today was the day. Today I was getting married. Today was supposed to be the best day in my life and it wasn't. It wasn't because I wouldn't marry my best friend, the person I loved, my everything. Today down the aisle there wouldn't be my love but a man, I didn't know anymore. A man I had let go years ago now for good. Many people would think that it is easy because I dated him and knew him, but in reality I didn't know him, not anymore. He didn't matter to me and the man who mattered to me was leaving tonight. We spent the night together but when I woke up he wasn't there. His side of the bed was empty just like my heart.

I had difficulty in waking up this morning. To be honest I didn't want to. I didn't do my morning routine, didn't eat, I just sat on the sofa watching the piano. No one would ever play to me again or at least not like him. I couldn't bring myself to say or think about his name without crying. I felt alone, cold and empty. My sun wasn't there anymore only the darkness kept me company. I slowly got ready to go to parents house to prepare for my wedding. After ten minutes I was there and before I got in the house I texted him saying "Hi good morning. I hope you found a place to stay until you leave. I am so sorry Charles. I love you."  He replied a minute later saying "Hey, yes, everything is settled. Please, don't be sorry. I know it isn't your fault. I love you." He was too kind and good for me. Maybe that's why I didn't get to be with him. 

I put on a fake smile on my face and went inside the house. My mother was there along with my best friend Elle celebrating. Neither of them knew anything about the deal with my father. I didn't want them to. They turned at me and my mother said "Oh you are here. Come on, you need to get your hair and makeup ready. We are going to be late." I had no idea how my wedding dress looked like and I didn't care. I just wanted to get this wedding over with. I sat on a chair, closed my eyes and let the hairdresser and the make-up artist do their jobs. My mother and Elle were singing, however I on the other hand was thinking about him. How were we going to do it? 

Time passed and finally two hours later I was ready. I had my hair in a messy high bun and my make up was soft and simple. My wedding dress was beautiful but I wished I had worn that for someone else. It was long, covered in lace. It was strapless with an open back and there was a floral pattern in front. I also wore my white high heels and a diamond necklace, which my mother gave me. Then we left and went to the place where my wedding would take place. It was a quiet place near the sea.  

When we arrived everyone was there, even him. He was sitting in the second row on the right. He wore his black tuxedo and he looked devastatingly handsome. My mother and Elle took their seats as well in the front row. My father came to me and said "You look beautiful. Let's go." He gave me his elbow waiting for me to take it. That was my last moment to run, to get away from this marriage but I knew I couldn't.

I gently took my father's elbow and we started walking down the aisle. Everyone was looking at me, even him. At first I didn't dare look at him because I knew I would see the pain in his eyes. However after two seconds I couldn't stop myself and stared at him. He was the perfect man. He looked at me with such love in his eyes. Those green eyes, how much I loved them. We continued walking, me still glancing at him. I didn't stop not until we reached George.

My father let go of me and I went besides George. Then the wedding started. After a couple of minutes it was time to say those words. I couldn't do it as much as I had to, I couldn't. It was devastating and it hurt a lot. As I was thinking of a way to get away I heard "George Papadimitriou, do you take Anna as your lovely bride?" No no it couldn't be happening. I am supposed to marry Charles, not him. Stop the wedding. I couldn't do it. And then I heard it.

"Yes, I do." Oh my God please no it couldn't, it couldn't. "Anna Papadopoulou, do you take George as your lovely husband?" I had to answer but first I looked at Charles for one last time, at those green eyes trying to take every detail of him. He slightly nodded, giving me the push to say the words. I nodded back and turned my head back to George before I let my tears flow.

"Yes I do." I said and something inside me broke. From that moment I knew I wouldn't be the same person. I felt awful saying those words. And then it hit me. I had done the only thing I swore not to do. I let him go. I let Charles go. The pain was agonizing. I felt my heart being stabbed again and again. I hurt him by letting him go. I failed. That was it. The end of our relationship. I let the only nice thing in my life slip and I was weak to do anything to prevent it. I would now have to live with my darkness because my sun was no longer with me.

The wedding ended and I never saw Charles again. He had probably left and I didn't blame him. Me and George on the other hand had to attend our wedding party in an hour. However I told George I would see him there because I would have to go to my house to get something. Of course it wasn't true. I had to get away from him, from everyone. The moment I stepped in my house I burst into tears. I didn't want that. I went to my bedroom now and found something on the bed.

It was a letter from Charles. I opened it and I started reading.

"My dearest Anna,

I don't know where to start. By the time you read this letter I would be on a plane flying to Monaco. You are married now and I am away. You need to know that you were the perfect girl for me. I knew you would be special from the moment I saw you when you came to ask me for an autograph. I will never forget our first date, that night in Monaco. I love you Anna with all of my heart and I am very proud of you. I know that marrying him wasn't your choice but I want you to be happy or at least find happiness. You need to love someone because otherwise it will destroy you. I think you will because you did it Anna, you let me go which was the right thing to do. However you need to know that no matter what I am always here for you and I will never forget you. I love you Anna, Anna Papadopoulou. Always and forever.

Yours,
Charles Leclerc"

I finished the letter crying. I wish I could tell him how much he meant to me. I missed everything about him. I stopped crying and I just sat there with a blank expression on my face. I had been through a lot and now I felt my heart turning into cold, piece by piece. If I had to be cold-blooded in order to leave like this then so be it. I hid the letter in my drawer and cleaned my face. There wasn't Charles in my heart anymore only darkness and pain.

I grabbed my keys and went to my wedding party. We danced, ate, drank and honestly I couldn't care less. I wasn't feeling anything. Charles was alive and away happy but I felt dead inside.

That feeling became my strength the following days. It pushed me to survive every single day. Some nights I would dream of Charles but I would again put on my cold mask the next day. And that's how the first month away from Charles passed. I didn't know what he was doing and I didn't want to. He was living his life and I lived mine. End of story.

"And from that moment he was no longer hers."