dream boy//[t.j.]

Loss.

warning: talks of car crash, miscarriage, and coma

one month later

trimester: 2 (week 19)

i opened my eyes, only to be hit by a blinding light. where was i? i looked around to see if i could figure it out. there was an iv taped to my arm. and my mother was by my side, sleeping.

my mother was by my side sleeping.

wasn't she supposed to be in italy? and where was tyler? what happened?

i struggled to remember anything. all i remembered was napping with tyler while we ate chips and watched tv. how did i get in the hospital?

i pushed the red button, hoping a nurse or someone would come. i didn't want to wake my mother up. i felt as though that would be inconvenient to her.

a nurse with cherry red hair came to my room. when she noticed i was awake, she seemed taken aback.

"oh my, you're awake!" she exclaimed, happily. the nurse's excitement then woke my mom up. she also seemed surprised to see me awake.

how long could i have possibly been out for?

"(y/n)! oh sweetheart, thank goodness you're awake!" my mom said, attempting to hug me.

"w-what happened? where's tyler?" i asked. my mom turned towards the nurse, who then left.

"what do you remember? what's your most recent memory, honey?" my mom asked me.

"tyler and i were cuddled up watching tv. then we fell asleep..i think. and now i'm here." i said. my mom took a small breath.

"you've been in a coma for a month. you and tyler went for a drive one night and ended up in a car crash. he's awake but he's in a bad condition, so he has to stay at the hospital too. i'm so sorry honey."

i felt a lump form in my throat. another question was knawing at me but i didn't want to know the answer. deep down i felt like i already knew it.

yet, i had to know.

"what- what about the babies?" i asked, shakily. my mom took my hand and kissed it.

"they had to perform an emergency cesarean. one of the babies-a boy-was suffocating in the womb. t-they tried to save him but..they couldn't."

my heart broke into a million pieces. i lost one of my babies. i deprived my two musketeers of the third one.

it was all my fault.

i began to cry. softly at first but then i was wailing. although i still had two of the babies, i could feel the empty spot that previously held my little boy.

"sweetheart, it's okay. it's not your fault honey, i promise." my mom comforted me. i tried to calm down but i couldn't.

"i-i'll be back!" my mom said, rushing out of the room. i continued crying.

i held my hands to my stomach. i began speaking softly to my unborn children.

"i'm so sorry little ones.." i cried, softly.

just then, i felt someone approach me. i looked up, assuming it was my mother. but it was tyler.

he had cuts all over his face. his legs were broken and so was his left arm. the second i looked into his eyes, he began crying. he pulled me into a hug.

"you're okay." tyler said, sounding relieved. i realized then, tyler wasn't crying because we lost one of the babies. he was crying tears of happiness because we were okay.

we cried together, holding onto each other tightly. we stayed that way for a few minutes. eventually we did pull away, but he stayed next to me.

"we lost one of the babies.." i told him. he nodded.

"i know." he replied, sadly.

"this is my fault."

tyler's head snapped up. he scrunched his eyebrows.

"no. no, it's not. it's not your fault, you couldn't help it. it's that psycho who was speeding's fault."

i was silent as the tears continued to slide down my face.

"i'm so happy you're okay. i was afraid you weren't going to wake up. we all were.." tyler told me.

"i'm glad you're okay too. i wouldn't have been able to bare it without you." i replied.

"i canceled tour. by the time we're both 100% okay, it'll be time to have the twins."

"yeah. i'm sorry you had to do cancel."

"it doesn't matter. what matters to me is that you and the babies are okay."

i gave a small smile. we both stared at each other, enjoying that we were finally together. yes, we were broken, but that didn't matter to us.

"tyler?" we both looked to see who said his name. it ended up being my mom.

"we need to get you back to your room. the doctor's are asking where you are." my mom told tyler. tyler reached to kiss my forehead, before rolling out of the room.

once tyler left my mom resumed her spot next to me.

"did that help you stop crying?" she asked me. i nodded.

"yes. thank you." i replied.

"i like him. this entire month, he has been asking if you were awake. not even caring that he, too, was broken."

"yeah, tyler's like that. that's one of the things i love about him. he cares so much."

"i can tell."

"when can i leave?"

"i still have to grab the doctor, so she knows you're out of the coma."

i frowned. i didn't want all that attention.

"it's okay. unless something goes wrong, we can wait a few minutes." my mom assured me. i smiled at her thoughtfulness.

"no, you should probably get her now. i don't want to put anyone off. after all, i've been gone for a month." i decided. my mom nodded and got up.

"i'll be right back." my mom told me.

i stared at the ceiling while i waited for her to return with the doctor.