Confessions Too

Chapter 69

Hey, you look pretty. Thank you, I said. How you been? I been good, Patricia said. Just living life the best way I can. Now, what's going on with you? Soooo much! How are you and Norris? We haven't been together in a while. Things changed so drastically after Brooke having the baby. Nobody is really dealing with Norris now. I had a baby. WHAT! Yes, her name is Cori. OMG! You have to rewind all of this, Patricia. I thought you and Norris was done. We are, it's not his. WHAT! Yes, I said while laughing. It's Connor's. Patricia just sat there with her mouth open. So, y'all are still seeing each other? Something like that, I said. What that mean? With everything that happened, we just trying to find a way to be together. What's to figure out? Y'all now share a child, it's much deeper now. Norris signed the birth certificate. WHHHHAT! 

    Connor was there when my water broke. He was be my side through it all. Norris showed up at the hospital somehow. What you mean somehow? I never called and told him my water broke. Once he showed up, everything changed. Only one person could be in the room with me. Seeing how we're still married, that left Norris to automatically be in the room. I was already having a difficult time. So, Connor respected that and he left. It was hard watching him leave knowing he had every right to be there. In that very moment, I didn't wanna deal with who's the daddy. Fast forward to having her. Norris questioned why she so was bright. I completely froze when he asked me that. I rolled with the first thing that came to mind. Which was? I'm half white, I said why shrugging my shoulders. What, Patricia said while laughing. That was the only thing I could think of right then and there. It made sense in my head. And he believed that? Yeah, I was shocked too. He knows I never met my father, so he believed it. 

   Wow, Patricia said. I just keep digging this hole deeper and deeper. That's clear and that's not good. I know, I said. How does Connor feel about all of this? He doesn't like it, but he's willing to go along with it for now. Why? If Norris could sign the papers, ill be free from him. I wouldn't have to continue this lie. You think all of this will end once he sign the papers? I hope so, I said. It's not going to be that easy Gabby. You had an affair with his friend, got pregnant, and allowed him to sign the birth certificate for someone else child. I don't think him signing the papers will erase any of that to a point where he'll be ok with all of that. I know, im trying to be positive about all of this. You have to end this some kind of way. I know, I just don't know how. You know how Gabby. Yeah, I can tell Norris the truth about everything. I don't feel like he deserve the truth. You can't say that, Patricia said. How come I can't? Think about how you felt not knowing about him and Brooke. You and Connor basically have the same thing or have done the same thing Norris and Brooke did. 

    Y'all snuck around, covered y'all tracks, now share a child together. The exact same thing Norris and Brooke did. So, not matter how you look at it. Norris deserves the truth just like you deserved it. You right, I said. I just can't fix my mouth to tell him the truth. Why not? I've seen how he reacts when he's mad. I know this will push him beyond mad. Let me ask you this, Patricia said. Are you scared of Norris? I wouldn't say I am, but I can't say im not either. It's ok to say that you are, Patricia said. If that's what is stopping you from telling him the truth, then you need to do something about it. Like what? If you have to get the police involved, do it. At some point the truth is going to come out one way or another. It's better for you to control when it comes out and what happens when it comes out. If it gets out any other way, the damage could be a lot worse. It's best you control the situation before it controls you any more than it already has. Patricia was right! This is why I needed somebody that can understand the situation and not make it worse. That's all my family has been doing since I had Cori. Nobody is giving me the advice and the courage I need to deal with all of this. Always pointing out the obvious, not making the situation any better. I need to suck it up and take care of this before it gets any further out of my control. 

    I texted Connor and told me I was coming over. First, I need to make things right with Connor. Out of all of this, he's the one suffering the most. He hasn't seen Cori yet! I've been so worried about Norris and his feelings in all of this. I haven't stopped and thought about Connor in all of this. At the end of the day, Cori is his child. I can't take that away from him. I left the coffee shop and headed back to my mom's to get Cori. I know the start of making this right, is letting him meet his child for the first time. I had so many emotions running through me pulling up at Connor's house. I don't know why honestly. I know im doing the right thing and I know he'll love this moment. After our last conversation, im not sure how he really feel about me right now. This is my first step to making things right. So, I hope this goes the way I need it to. Hey, Connor said while opening the door. Hey! You brought her, Connor said while taking the car seat from me. Yeah, it's time you meet your daughter. Seeing Connor hold Cori just melted my hard. I knew in that very moment, I did the right thing. Wow, Connor said. What? 

    She's just how I imagined her to be, perfect. What made you call? I know with everything going on, we haven't been on the same page lately. Everything is getting so far out of control and I don't want any issues between us. You the father of my child, nothing is going to change that. I'm to blame for how far things has gotten. So, im trying to make things right as much as I possibly can. Letting you meet your daughter is my first step into making things right. Thank you, Connor said. I'm sorry if me being mad added on to any of the drama. I can't blame you for being mad, I said. Everything just got so far out of control, I know everybody would be mad about something. I have to stop worrying about everybody and how they feel. So, where do we go from here? I'm still trying to figure that out, I said. You changed how you feel about me? Of course not, I said. Right now it's hard to really feed into my feelings for you. I have to get out of this marriage first. As long as im still tied to him, I can't live in the moment with you. I understand, Connor said. I'm trying to make all of this right. Look, im not pressuring you to do so. I know we created a mess that's hard to explain right now. I'm not focusing you to choose. I know what we feel for each other wasn't a in the moment thing. All I wanted was to be a father to my child, that's it. I know, that's why we here.