Confessions Too

Chapter 59

    We finally made it to my mom's house. I was ready to relax but it was time to feed Cori. Gimme, gimme, gimme; Tori said while taking Cori from me. It's time for her to eat, I said while handing Tori the baby bag. It's some breast-milk in the bag, just warm it up a little. Now you all situated, what's going on? What I miss, Tori asked? Your genius sister let Norris sign the birth certificate. He did what? Signed for a baby that's not his, my mom said. That's not all, Norris thinks she's half white. What, Tori said while laughing. She about to explain why he thinks that. Well, Norris asked why Cori was so bright. The second he asked me that, I froze. I wanted to tell the truth, but I just couldn't. I rolled with the first thing that came to mind. Which was? Our dad is half white. WHAT THE HELL!! I know, that's the first thing I could come up with. And he fell for that? Yeah, he know we never met our father before. So, he didn't have a choice but to believe it. I told Connor's mom almost the same story. Gabby, what the hell?

She wanted to pick us up and take us to her house. Before I had Cori, I told her we will stay at her house the first few weeks. Why you tell her that? I thought Norris would have signed the divorce papers and I was free to go on with my life. You really thought he was going to sign the papers? I really did, it's no reason for him not to. You know just like we know, Norris is controlling. Signing those papers is him giving up control. We know he ain't giving that up that easily. Gabby you have to tell this man the truth, my mom said. You dragging all of us into these lies. Just tell him Cori is not his, you don't want to be in the marriage no more, move out the house, and move on. It's not that simple, I said. It is, you making it complicated. What about Connor? Does he even know Norris signed the birth certificate? No, I haven't talked to him. Why not? I just need a break from all of this. I haven't been able to fully embrace the fact im a mother. With everything that's going on, I still haven't had time to actually love on my child. I'm always worrying about what Norris is going to do, how im hurting Connor, or how all of this going to end. For once I want to not worry about none of that. I always look at Cori and wonder how im going to explain all of this to her. What's to explain? You know who her father is, it's nothing left to explain. It's how she was conceived. That's what I have to explain to her. You really don't, my mom said. I never explained to y'all how y'all was conceived. Never told y'all the story with me and y'all father. I never felt it was necessary. Y'all was taken care of and loved, that's all that matter to me. That's all that should matter to you when it comes to Cori. As long as you and Connor love her and takes care of her, how she was created doesn't matter. Yes, she was created out of deceit. That doesn't mean y'all love her any less. Mom is right, Tori said. I think you should just talk to Connor. He's been understanding thus far, im sure he'll be a little more understanding. I'm not sure about that, my mom said.

You let your husband sign the birth certificate for another man's child. I don't think he'll be too understanding of that. I just need a step back from all of this, I said. Any minute I feel like im going to explode. Look, just leave Cori here and go have you some alone time. I know what you going through. All new mothers go through it. Go somewhere peaceful and try to relax. That's a good idea, I said. We'll take care of Cori; you go take care of yourself. Thanks, I won't be gone too long. Don't worry about the time, my mom said. It's enough breast-milk in the bag. Child, would you go? You act like im new to this, my mom said. Ok, thank you ma!

Time away from everything is exactly what I need. I never had a peaceful place to go to. Only peaceful place I had to go to was Connor's condo. The beach view always brought me so much peace. I was hoping Connor wasn't there, I didn't want to face him right now. I know I will have to eventually. I really just need a second to think about everything. I know the beach view will help me. I was shock Connor didn't change the locks. At the same time, im glad he didn't. Being back here just bring back memories. All the good memories I had with Connor, all the great sex, all of sweet moments, pretty much everything. Through all of the craziness, I love Connor. I wouldn't have Cori if it wasn't for him. Years of trying to have a baby with Norris, nothing worked. His sperm worked for everybody else but me. Guess my eggs knew he wasn't the man I was supposed to have a baby with. Honestly, im perfectly fine with that. The more I sat and looked at the beach view; the more I needed to fix this. I know Connor is going to be PISSED about this birth certificate thing. I don't even know how to explain it to him honestly. I know just coming out telling the truth is the best option. I just don't have the guts to come out and tell him. I know I have to find the guts before this shit gets any messier.

I was holding my phone for a good 10 minutes just starring at Connor's number. "just call him gabby and get it over with", I said to myself repeatedly. "I know how we started wasn't our intentions. I didn't think ill fall for you, have these feelings for you, or even share a child with you. In the beginning, you were just my escape from everything I was going through with Norris. You gave me the attention he didn't give me, the affection, the love, and the compassion. You noticed things that Norris didn't. You showed me a level of love and care that I waited for Norris to show me. Every moment with you felt like God was telling me this is where I needed to be. I never meant to hurt you or get you caught up in this craziness. You have been nothing but amazing to me. I don't know how to fix any of this or even if any of this is fixable. I've been trying my hardest to find a way to make this right. I think this time I really screwed things up. I hope somehow you can forgive me, and we can continue to plan out our lives together". I looked at this text debating to push send or not. I couldn't push send just yet, so I just saved it as a draft. I looked at my phone and saw an unsaved number calling.

Hello! I know this is weird im calling but I need your help. Who is this? Brooke. BROOKE! The Brooke that was creeping with my husband? The Brooke that got pregnant TWICE by my husband? The Brooke that sat at my kitchen table talking shit? That Brooke? Yes, it's me. You really think im going to help you after everything? I know I got some nerve calling you asking for anything, Brooke said. Yes, you got that part right. Just hear me out, please. Talk, I said. I know every encounter we've had wasn't always pleasant. I'm probably the last person on earth you would help. Cut the bullshit Brooke. What you want? Norris took the Naomi from me. What? Let me back track, Brooke said. My ex Vince got out of jail and we agreed to start over together. We moved away so that he could have a fresh start. Somehow Norris found us and took the baby. What you need from me? Help me get her back. Why should I help you? You knew he was married, you listened to him lie repeatedly, got pregnant by him twice, talked all this shit to me as if im not his wife, and now you coming to me for help. Tell me one good reason why I should help you. Because you're a good person, Brooke said. I couldn't do nothing but laugh. Seriously, Gabby I know you are a good person. I've seen how you loved and cared for his other kids as if they were your own. You knew he cheated and created Noel. Yet, you still loved her and treated her like your own. He cheated with me and created Naomi. I know you don't like me or even like her for that matter. I know y'all not together and I know how much he works. Meaning, it's no telling where my child is or who she's with. I know with you being a mother now you can understand my concerns right now. I'm just asking you to please help me get her back. How? Talk Norris into giving her back to me or something. You know just like I know, Norris isn't the best father in the world. I can't even remember when he was alone with the kids. So, for him to have a newborn im really scared. I just ask you to look past who I am or what you think I stand for and consider Naomi. He didn't take any of her breast-milk, which im sure you now the importance of a newborn having breast-milk. At least talk him into letting me breastfeed her. Gabby, please! I'm not a factor in y'all marriage anymore, so it's no reason to still hate me. Don't tell me why I should or shouldn't hate you. You may not be a factor anymore, but you were still a major factor. If I choose to hate you till the day I die, I have the right to do so. The ONLY reason why I would help you is because of Naomi. She's an innocent child in all of this. She doesn't know the type of father she got stuck with. So, let this be the LAST favor you ask for and the LAST time you call me. I'll be in touch, I said before handing up the phone.