Rants

Lights Out!

Sleep. What's to say about sleep. I cherish it very much, but I can never seem to get enough of it. Why, you ask? Well I have an extremely hard time falling asleep. Yes, I know you are saying, 'Well duh your on the internet all the time!'
No. If I close my eyes right now and try to go to sleep, I will try to think of something to carry me into the peaceful world of sleep. But then something that I haven't thought about in quite a while, decides, well hey, she's bored why don't I make her go insane at 12:30 am. Sounds fun.

For example, I will be counting sheep, or imagining a scenario where I am with my ultimate celebrity crush (guess who) that will be a rant for another time.

Ahem, where was I? Oh yes scenario.

Then I will lose my train of thought and something else pops into my head like, Oh yeah! You have a math test that you forgot to study for tomorrow!
Or
Remember that demon in your closet that your subconscious created when you where younger?

That just makes me want to open the window and start shouting profanities and swears at 1:00 am. My mind chooses the WORST time to stressed out. When I was little I used to have a very minor case sleep apnea (stages in which you are involuntarily not breathing in your sleep which last for about twenty seconds.) And sometimes I'm scared that it will happen again and I can't fall asleep from the fear. It's really scary. You actually STOP breathing and the worst part is you can be fully aware that you are not breathing and that you are dreaming but you can't do anything about it.

Back to the topic here... I usually spend hours either staring at the multi-colored posters plastered all over my walls, (yes One Direction is there) reading a book, on my phone, or trying to fall asleep using the old grandma methods moms tell you. I have to wake up at six to go to school, and sometimes the obnoxious sound of my alarm clock makes me want to take it smash it into the ground, jump on it a few times, throw it in a fire, and go to sleep. Or just repeatedly hit myself in the head with it so I can go back to sleep. Because every morning should start with a concussion.

You're probably thinking, well you have acute insomnia, easily cured with an infinite number of puffballs called sheep, being counted in your head. Once again that doesn't work.

I'm really not going to be throwing around a diagnosis of acute insomnia because that's based on a traumatic event or stress. I do have a lot of stress but I'm not saying I am an insomniac partly because I'm not one of those fake bitches that claims she's suffered from chronic insomnia or OCD or ADHD or an eating disorder of some sort. There are people that actually suffer from these conditions. Stop acting like you've had some traumatic condition just to get attention, kay? I've got a diagnosis for you! Its very rare and its a very serious neurological condition. Its called yourefoolingnobodyshutthefuckup-itis. Also known as FBS (fake bitch syndrome).

I tend to get off topic very easily don't I? Well that's a rant for another chapter. Comment if you suffer from FBS or if you ACTUALLY have trouble sleeping.
Well would you look at the time! 11:32 pm. Now if you'll excuse me, I will be forming a conspiracy against the alarm clocks of the world as I try to fall asleep. ⏰