February Ashes

february.

When the memory haunts me

And you laughter breaks me.

I won't get any sleep tonight.

Your voice still lingers

As the candle flickers

Reminds me of our dying blaze.

And you'd think I should be fine by now

You'd think I should be better off without you.

But when feelings overflow inside me...

I lose control.

I'm still a mess.

nothing's changed

Since the moment I walked out the door

I'm still a mess.

just lots of stress

As the flashbacks throw me in the floor

I still scream,

I still cry.

I still dream about you, february.

February.

The shortest month becomes the longest.

It feels like I'm stuck between March and August.

I said I got over you over the summer.

But every time I hear your voice I hear thunders.

It's like a storm is hanging around me.

Ominously hovering.

You've left me here wondering.

Do you still care?

Or could you truly not care less?

To see how I'm still a mess

Yes.

I must confess.

I can't seem to stress.

Stress this enough.

I still think of you.

I still fear you.

I still miss you.

I still love you

February.

But all I can do is save my tears and smile when I see you in the crowd.

But I just pray to God you don't show up when February comes around. 

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new poems coming July 26th

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thanks for reading! 

Love, 

Víctor.