February Ashes

Right Where She Left Me

I met her on a November 26th

Still trying to get used to the icy breeze.

We were only two strangers.

I wasn't expecting to fall so quickly

Swept away by her wild current, like a lost fish.

We were only two strangers.

Unexpectedly, she walked up to me and stole every bit of air from my lungs.

She was like a burning candle, flickering in my mind, warming up my soul.

I was hopelessly devoted to her.

Dangerously into her.

Never in a million years I thought she'd be the death of me.

What do you do when someone you just met for five minutes

Lingers through your mind for five weeks?

What do you do when she becomes the only thought

The only thing,

The only person you want?

When you keep on falling,

and falling,

and falling.

And she keeps taking

and taking.

But you keep crawling

and crawling.

Until you lose all sense of common sense.

And you feel naked around everyone else

Because you absentmindedly opened up, and she became everything you knew.

So, when she left.

There was nothing left...

Only you.

There was just... me

Right when she left me, I felt devastated

Because who am I without her?

Right where she left me, I felt lost

Because where was I without her?

Lost in a pile of ashes in the middle of a haunted forest, with voices taunting me.

Nothing made sense.

No one understood the pain

That I was going through.

With just fifteen years,

cried fifteen million tears.

But what was the point?

I gave it my all

Did she give any at all?

What was the point?

The worst part wasn't losing her and ended up broken.

The worst part was that if she ever decided to come back,

I'd be sitting there.

Waiting.

Waiting for her to give a damn about me.

Everybody moved on but me.

I stayed there, frozen.

Frozen in time, in the middle of the night.

Cross-legged in front of the screen of the movie theatre,

where she held my hand and felt the safest.

I stayed there.

In the third desk of that chemistry class,

where I would help her and she'd laugh about the way I pronounced the elements.

I stayed there.

In the same lunch room where she once used to sit beside me

and laugh and smile at my bad jokes.

I stayed there.

Waiting...

Hoping...

Praying...

That someday, she would regret leaving.

Hoping that one day, she would think she made a mistake

And hoping,

That someday she'd come back to me.

Because I would've waited a million years.

Right where she left me. 

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August 5th

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Víctor.