All This Time

Chapter 10

*Warning....mature content*

"So you've never..." He asked, but somehow, he didn't seem all that surprised. Was I that predictable?

I shook my head no, feeling the flush in my cheeks. "It's not like I was saving myself for marriage, but I wanted to at least be in love. I've dated a few others before Erik, but had never felt ready to have sex with any one because I didn't feel the right connection, and I know it's because I've never been in love until now. Although you really don't seem all that surprised."

"I'm not really surprised. I've known you for so long, and I know how pure your heart is. I just want to make absolute certain that this is what you want. I don't want you to have any regrets and I don't want you to feel pressured in any way."

"I won't regret this, and I don't feel any pressure. I'm just a little embarrassed, and hope you don't find my inexperience a turn off, but I'm a hundred percent certain I want this."

"Turned off? If anything this makes me want you even more. The fact that your body is as pure and untouched as your heart and soul. I can't think of anything sexier."

His words made me blush even harder and the heat in his gaze had me melting. This was really going to happen, and part of me was terrified, not only of losing my virginity, but terrified that we were moving too fast. The other part of me reminded me that I had known Ryan nearly my entire life, and that he would never hurt me. It just felt right. It felt meant to be that he would be the one. I squashed my nerves down and took his hand, leading him to my bedroom.

With my hands shaking the entire time, I grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head. I tried not to gawk over seeing him shirtless. Of course I had seen him shirtless, seen his tattoos many times, but never this up close and personal. I was dying to touch him, but not sure where to begin as my gaze went back and forth from the tattoos to the flat, toned abs. He was lean, very lean, and at first glance you might say skinny. Looks can be deceiving however because his arms were strong, veiny and well built and his back muscles rippled with every movement. I tentatively reached out and traced the number 10 tattooed on his chest and watched in awe as goosebumps appeared just from my touch. His skin was warm and soft, and seeing his reaction to my touch gave me a bit of a rush.

Feeling a little bolder, I ran my fingertips down to the sprint car tattoo just below his rib cage. I loved that he was so big on his family that he had his late grandfather's number and car inked onto his body. He sucked in a breath as I ran my palms down his toned stomach. I saw the muscles contract beneath my touch and my confidence grew.

Next, my fingertips traced his v-line, down to the thin trail of hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of the jeans that were slung low on his hips. His belt buckle taunted me, almost as much as the bulge forming beneath it did. Did I dare? I placed my lips on the number 10 and heard a sharp intake of breath as my hand brushed against his denim clad bulge.

Knowing he had to be uncomfortable in those tight jeans, I pushed my nerves to the side once again and went to work on his belt, my fingers a bit clumsy and unsteady, my hands shaking somewhat as I have never undressed a man before, but I managed to get the belt free. He let out a sigh of relief when I finally slid the zipper down.

Suddenly, my nerves caught up with me as I had my hands on the waistband of his jeans ready to pull them down. I was fully aware that there was only one layer of clothing remaining beyond the unbuttoned and unzipped jeans, and I hesitated. Sensing my unease, he asked softly "if you are not sure, we don't have to do this. I told you I would never pressure you. If you are not ready for this, it's perfectly ok..."