How To Love

119

Omniscient POV

"This fine?" Kentrell said fluffing her pillows for the tenth time this hour.

"It's good." She said nodding. "Thank you." She said squinting her eyes at the sunlight that shined through the blinds.

"Here." He said putting a straw to her mouth letting her sip on water.

Jalanee felt useless. She didn't sleep at night,and spent the whole night crying as Kentrell slept next to her. Getting stabbed for the second time around,really made her reevaluate everything around her. She was 7 1/2 months before the incident happened and was so close to her 9 month term.

"Can we go to the NICU? I wanna see Amira." She asked,dryly. Since Amira was a premature baby,she would have to spend her first few weeks in the hospital although she was very healthy and even a little over weight for a premature baby.

Kentrell nodded,She got up and grabbed her stomach in pain. "Shit. Jalanee you gotta take it easy." He said coming over to her side,helping her out of the bed,onto the wheelchair nearby. She winced in pain at the sudden movements.

He rolled her over to NICU section of the hall,which happened to be down the hall. "You good?" He asked looking down at her who was looking for her daughter's name.

The two looked down at their baby girl,who was fast asleep in the hospital crib. She had a tiny oxygen mask on,with a white and pink onesie. She was only a couple hours old,but Jalanee couldn't keep her eyes off her. It was like love at first sight. She reached over and picked up the child,Kentrell watched her careful,with a small smile coming upon his face.

"She's so pretty." Jalanee said with a lazy smile. She adjusted the pink hat she had on. Her bright eyes was still taking in her surroundings. Holding her,gave her a small sense of happiness.

"You wanna hold her?" She asked looking at her boyfriend,who seemed off for obvious reasons. He nodded slowly,and held his hands out. He takes her and his big hands holds her securely. Her tiny hands turned into a fist,making Kentrell chuckle to himself.

Out of all the bad stuff the two went through the last 24 hours,Kentrell was glad he still had something good that came out of it. His first daughter.

"You took ya mama whole face." Kentrell said,as the baby let out a big yawn. Jalanee ended up bringing into the world a ,chinky eyed baby girl,who had a head full of dark brown hair. She resembled her mother way more,Jalanee was actually a bit stunned since she always thought her kids with Kentrell would look like him.

"I know right." She said softly sliding her hand over Amira's hair. "Amir looked like you though." She said with a long sigh. They were both looking forwards on having their twins.

"Shit still crazy to me." He mumbled.

__

"Sorry to interrupt but your visitors from last night are back? Do you guys want to see them?" The nurse said walking in.

The two looked at each other,in quick thought. They both been avoiding their family members simply because they didn't know what to say and weren't in the mood to speak.

"You tryna see em?" Kentrell asked,taking her hand. She shrugged,and looked around the room.

He stared at her lifeless eyes,and figured he'd have to make a decision for her. He took a deep exhale. "We'll see em. But Don't bring everyone up in here at once."

The nurse nodded and stepped out. Moments later Teelee and Kayla rushed into the room.

"Are y'all okay?" Teelee said breaking down into tears. Jalanee had a blank expression on her face,and couldn't find the urge to comfort her. Everyone around her just been feeling bad for her,and in tears.

"Cmon." Kentrell said grabbing her arm,and walking out of the room with her. Leaving Kayla and Jalanee alone.

"Mommy and Daddy here." Kayla mumbled,wiping away her stray tears.

"I don't wanna see them." Jalanee whispered back. Jalanee scooted over slowly,making Kayla climb into the bed next to her.

"Yeah I thought so. I told them that." She said stroking her sister's hair. "Jalanee,I don't know what to say." She said as her voice cracked.

"You don't have to say anything. Just be here." She said laying her head on her shoulder. "Thank you for being there. I love you so much." She said looking at her sister.

"Jalanee you shouldn't have to thank me." Kayla sighed. "This shouldn't have happened to you."

"I know. I've just been thinking what would've happened if you didn't come." She said with a voice crack. "I thought I was going to die.

"Jania got arrested."

She felt a chill go down her spine hearing Jania's name being said. The feeling that was bubbling in her was something different that she rarely felt. She wasn't surprised. She hated her.

"I hate her so much. This shit just not fair." She exclaimed.

"At all. It's not fair at all. I don't do shit to nobody. I came back from a lot , but how am i suppose to come back from this?" She was clearly frustrated but no longer had the will to cry.

"What did you name the girl?" Kayla asked.

"Amira. She's in the NICU. Me and Kentrell just got done seeing her. The boy name was Amir. They looked nothing alike." She said.

"I'm sorry babe." Kayla said trying not to let tears fall. 

"What bothers me the most is that He died right in front of me. And it seems like he died painfully. He was crying." She said with a tear rolling down her dry face. "Then just turned blue and stopped crying. I couldn't do anything about it...I just want my son."

"He had a clot in his lung." She said again dryly. Kayla wiped Jalanee's face of tears and pushed her hair out of her face.

"He looked just like Trell. Kentrell thinks this whole thing is his fault. He can't even look at me." She said dryly.

"Babe this is hard on both of y'all. But he shouldn't be walking around thinking this is his fault,that's a huge burden." Kayla said.

"I know." She sighed. "I love you Kayla...I hope you know the things you did for me growing up til now doesn't go unnoticed."

"Jalanee quit talking like that." Kayla mumbled. Kentrell then walked in,Kayla took that as an cue to give the two privacy once again.

"I'm going to come back later." She said giving Jalanee a kiss on her forehead and patting Kentrell's back before walking out.

The silence settled back into the room as the couple couldn't find the right words to say to each other. Kentrell was trying to think of what was going through Jalanee's head but Jalanee herself couldn't think straight.

He stood in the corner of the room,fiddling with the ends of his hair as Jalanee stared at the white walls.

"Kentrell?" She said finally speaking at a reasonable volume. His head shot up,and he looked her direction. Seeing it was her,he walked quickly to her bedside.

"Where's Nana?"

"Ion know. I'll get her." He hurried over to the doors. He said some inaudible words that Jalanee didn't try to make out.

"Jesus." Her Nana said as she walked in,with her eyes on Jalanee. Tears welled up in Jalanee eyes again,making Nana pull her into her chest as she sobbed.

Jalanee felt like a little girl again,the same little girl that was rejected by her mom,the same girl who was once in the hospital for her ex stabbing her. Vulnerable.

"Grandma?" She said pulling away from her arms.

"Yes hun."

"Why did this happen?" She said

"I don't know...I honestly don't. I wish I could tell you."

___________________________________