How To Love

129

Jalanee Coleman

I closed my eyes for a few seconds,taking deep breaths. Suddenly,I felt the other side of the bed sink in.

"Say' wassup to yo mama." Kentrell said,patting her back repeatedly,burping her.

"Hi pretty girl." I cooed waving at her. "You just fed her?"

"Yeah her lil fat ass drunk 3 whole bottles. She starting to look like Arianna bad ass." He said,making me grin a bit.

Amira was just starting to get her melanin,and she really did look like a mixture of Arianna and me.

"I ain't try to get your mama pregnant for almost three  years,just for you to look nothing like me." He said,before blowing a raspberry into her stomach making her smile widely.

Kentrell been so attached to her since she got home. I think him having a daughter definitely did him some good.His head seemed to be back on straight since our talk. Yeah,we're both grieving but it feels better knowing we're doing something about it.

"You straight?" He asked making me flash back into reality.

"I'm good." I said giving him a small smile.

"My mama nem downstairs." He said,planting kisses on Amira's cheeks. "I know youn' wanna deal with nobody today."

"No. It's fine." I said getting ready to get up from the bed.

"Youn' wanna sleep?" He asked quickly.

"No. Let's just get this over with." I said a bit annoyed. "Was she busy or something? Why is she just now coming to see Amira?" I questioned.

He shrugged,and walked over to me with Amira still in his arms. "Ion know. You know ion fuck wit' that woman. I'm telling you if youn wanna deal with nobody youn got to." He said.

"It's fine babe." I said,walking out of the room. He followed me down the spiral steps,seeing Kendell and Sherhonda at the bottom of the steps.

"There y'all go!" She exclaimed. I turned at Kentrell who had a disgusted look on his face. It really took 3 and a half weeks for her to come see her grandchild.

Kentrell put her into Sherhonda's arms and watched her carefully.

"Where my grandson?" She said. The room went quiet as we all looked at each other. Kentrell rolled his eyes,and threw his hands up.

"Gimme my daughter." He said quickly,reaching over for Amira. "You finna piss me off."

"Kentrell-" Teelee started.

"I ain't even get to hold my grand baby for a solid minute. If you going to show me the kids,show me them at the same time. He sleep or sum?"

"Bitch youn see no fucking other baby around here. Stop asking dumb ass shit. Steady tryna piss people off." Kendell jumped in.

"Maybe if your ass came around to see your granddaughter. You'd be up to date about shit." Kentrell said,taking Amira from her arms.

"So that twin shit was a lie?" She asked folding her arms,shifting her gaze to me.

"I didn't-"

"Nah. Slime youn' gotta explain shit to nobody." Kentrell cut me off. He sucked his teeth in frustration and stormed off.

"You just don't know when to shut the fuck up." Kendell sucked his teeth,slouching onto the couch. I cursed under my breath and there was an awkward tension in the room.

"I'm going to go check on him." I said turning around and making my way up the steps. Everybody and mother knew at this point what went on with me and Kentrell. I literally posted a photo of Amira and only her. How could this not haven't clicked in her head?

"Are yo-" I stopped mid-sentence when I seen a tear roll down Kentrell's face. I slowly walked over to him,taking Amira from his arms,gently. I laid her down on the bed carefully,quickly turning back to Kentrell.

He was never the type to cry easily at things so I know something would've had to be building up for to break down like this.

"Baby?" I whispered out. His foot bounced up and down quickly,he didn't answer. I rubbed his back as he sniffled.

"Jalanee?"

"Hmm?" I replied quickly.

"What type of nigga would I be if I don't do nun about Boomer?"

"Kentrell-"

"I ain't getting my lil boy back. So what the fuck I'm pose' to do bout him? He not getting away with this shit." I put my hand to his face,the tears dried out and he was speaking calmly. It scared me a bit.

"I say we kill him."

"I don't think that's a good idea." I asked,getting up to shut the door.

"This shit cut me deep cause I really loved Big B. That nigga was like a brother to me. And you came in my life,made me wanna become a better man. And I had him doing sneaky shit behind my back."

"Trell I understand." I said,crossing my legs.

"I love the fuck outta you. This nigga been tryna fuck wit us. I ain't letting up."

"Jalanee on my grandma grave I ain't letting no shit happen to you again. On my soul. This nigga almost took you from me." He said staring dead at me. "I ain't have to get rid of yo ex. or that other nigga you use to fuck wit' but this shit personal." He stated.

The room went silent. I was in deep thought. I really did feel like the more killing that went on around us,would just come back to get us. However,me thinking about those moments I had in the hospital and bleeding out on my kitchen floor,just made me feel so hopeless. As much as I wanted Kentrell to handle this his way,I wanted what was best for Amira's safety.

The devastating part about this was we couldn't legally do anything to put Boomer away. I don't feel safe nor comfortable knowing he knows where we lay our head and he's free.

A few minutes later,Amira started to fuss and Kentrell picked her up,cradling her. "I'm right here princess." He said,moving her curl from her forehead.

Kentrell cold lips made contact with my cheek,kissing me. "We gon finish our talk later. I'm finna take my daughter a bath." He said giving me a small smile.

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