"What did she give you?"Reed asked as we walked into the bathroom for a shower
"It was just a photo" I said stripping my clothes off, and stepping into the shower
She got in behind me, and continued to question me throughout the shower and after, into the bedroom as I did my skincare
"Jade, what was the picture of?" She asked brushing through her hair with her fingers
"It was just of us doing silly faces"
"And you cried?"
"Yes it's not a big de-" I was cut off when she pushed me onto the wall, and pinned me there
"Yes it is Jade, it's a big deal because you're mine, not hers mine." She said, and punched the wall
I flinched and shut my eyes from the closeness of her fist to my face.
"Shit Reed calm down"
"No Jade because you're acting as if this isn't a big of a deal when it fucking is." She was about add more when a sleepy Laura came into our room
"Why are you yewlling" she said rubbing here eyes.
I checked the time to see it was 2 am
"Baby Laura why are you up so late?" I said picking her up. "Let's guy you back to bed love"
I placed her back in her room, and gave her a kiss on the head before going into the kitchen.
I sat on an island chair and let my head fall into my hands. I started to silently cry having flash backs of our relationship before where she would have outbursts, but she never got physical. She technically didn't hurt me, but it damn well scared the fuck out of me.
I heard her approach me, and felt her arms wrap around me from the behind.
"I'm sorry Jade I didn't mean it" she said hugging me tighter
"I thought you got help for these outbursts?"
"I did I just, I'm sorry I can't control myself around you"
"So basically when you're around me, you don't know if you're going to hit something or yell at me?" I said getting up, and facing her
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it, I'm trying"
"I know you are Reed and I'm thankful, but we've just started to try things again after years away from each other, and two days in it starts up again."
"Jade it's not intentional I don't mean it at all"
"Do you hate me or something?"
"No I don't hate you Jade"
"I just want to understand you Reed I want to understand what goes on in your head!" I said a little loud so I took a deep breath
"You really want to know?"
"Yea Reed I do want to"
"First off I just wanna say you always been you since I first gave you a ride to school. Now Jade... since I was a kid I always felt like having mood swings, and weird attitudes were normal until I met Cameron who said I was acting weird. The heartbreak hurt, and that's when I really realized I was different, but when I met you... I tried to fight it. It's like fighting a ton of different me's, So When you broke up with me, I tried to get help, but it worked for a while cuz I was distant, but seeing you again just triggers something I'm me, a love I don't feel with anyone else." She said on the verge of tears
"So basically I trigger this, and I'm the reason this happens?" I said wrapping my arms around myself
"It's not your fault Jade" she said and lifted my face up
I flinched back a little, and sighed
"Reed I don't want you to go through this because of me-"
"Jade, even if you trigger something in me I can't control, I wouldn't be able to live without you anymore, seeing you again, and just the slightest feeling of you brushing past me gives me happiness."
"But-" she silenced me with a kiss, and I just let her
It gave me a silent sheet to let me think.
We headed upstairs, and laid down next to each other. She was spooning me, and her face was on my exposed back giving me kisses every minute or so on it.
I stayed up all night though, just looking at my closet door all zoned out with a crowded mind.
I don't want people to feel sorry for me or anything, but I'm so fucking stressed, and I'm dealing with to much right now. There's work, constant calls, there's Cameron, constant pressure, and reed, reed was a whole different situation.
I unthinkably and stupidly got back with her out of hunger again. I didn't think, and skipped to the conclusion that she changed. I rushed into a relationship, and now I find out I trigger her to have outbursts, physical ones now. I feel horrible because I don't want her going through this, and I don't either. I don't want to seem selfish or anything but I really can't deal with a long distance relationship that is yet toxic AGAIN.
I was planning of staying up all not just thinking, but it was the day after Christmas, Laura would want to play with her toys, make leftover cookies, and go out to eat that ice cream I promised her, so I fell asleep.
I woke up to my TV on, and heard people talking. I looked to the TV and saw the grinch on, and I turned around to see Reed, and Laura laying down together with reeds arm around her, and she was explaining to Laura who the grinch was, and the moral behind it. I waited for their conversation to end before I spoke up.
"Laura stop stealing my girlfriend from me" I said and fully turned my body to them
Laura jumped onto reeds chest, and wrapped her little arms around her neck. She giggled, and kicked around.
I laughed, and patted her on the head, and turned to Reed. My smile fell, and I just stared into her eyes until Laura started jumping on the bed
"I wanna go to target and, and then ice cream" she said after jumping onto my chest knocked the wind out of me
"Ouch, yeah sure" I said, and got up "go get changed kid"
I watched her leave, and walked into my closet to change. I took my clothes off, and put on a grey sweater of course with another long sleeve under, and some blue mom jeans. I out on some new black low boots, and left my hair down.
"You look beautiful" reed said as she got up to change
"Thanks" I said walking over to the other side of the room put on my jewelry and put on perfume
I let out a sharp breath, and sprayed the perfume on my neck, then left the room.
I went to Laura's room to find her in shorts and a tank top. I laughed, and put her into some more warm clothes.
"I wanna wear my glass slippers aunt J"
"Laura it's so cold outside you can't, but you can wear this." I said picking up the necklace Reed for her
I put the necklace on her, and admired mine as well in the mirror before I picked her up, and brought her to the car.
I handed her to reed who buckled her in, and we left for our hour drive.
Surprisingly, Laura actually took a nap instead of crying the whole time which gave Reed and I some type of alone time.
"Jade can we talk?"
