"About what Reed we talked last night"
"And you're clearly not satisfied from it"
"I am, I'm- I'm okay what do you mean?"
"You're mad at me, I know you're not satisfied from our conversation"
"I'm not mad at you Reed, I'm mad at myself, not you"
"Why are you mad at yourself Jade?"
"Because... I don't want you to be dealing with this sh- this stuff, and me being the cause of it."
"Jade I love you, I would go through much more just to be with you like this just sitting in a car."
"Reed I'm thankful but I don't want you to be dealing with that long term. It will slowly break you down, and-"
"And if I break down it will be for a good cause" she said, and kissed my hand
My eyes started to water, and I placed my fingers on the edges of my eyes.
"Don't cry Jade" she said turning to me with a caring face
"I love and care for you so much, I don't want you hurt."
She rubbed my hand with her thumb, and leaned her head on my shoulder
"I'll be fine" she said
I felt like she wanted to say more, but she just stayed silent.
I really wasn't letting out all that I wanted to say too. I wanted to talk about how uncomfortable I was when she punched out he wall. I was kind of scared of her in a way, she was capable of doing that over some picture, what would happen with something more serious.
I decided to stop by some gas station to get water and obviously gas.
I stopped the car in front of a pump, and Reed decided to get the water.
I finished up he gas early, got back into the car, and rested my head on the steering wheel. I let out a deep frustrated sigh, and heard Laura getting up behind me
"What's wrong aunt J?" She asked stretching
"There is nothing wrong Laura"
"You look at-st-stressed"
"Oh no I'm excited for ice cream and looking at new toys!" I said, and that made her satisfied
I saw Reed come up to the car, and once she was in Laura started talking and giggling, I felt so hurt.
I still drank my water, and drove the rest of the time silently.
"And we're here" I said pulling into a target
Reed got Laura, and picked her up as I walked beside them.
We all got compliments of being a beautiful family, and after 3 people we just went with it.
"Look at this one Laura" I said and picked up a beautiful mulan doll
She grabbed it, and instantly cling onto it
"Okay ice cream now" she said while trying to drag reed
"Hold on kid we still have to pay" I said as we started walking to the register
She was about to stop crying when Reed picked her up, and started talking about how cool the doll was
"Okay can I see that for a sec Laura?" I said, and asked for the doll
She held it back, and I let out a sigh
"Laura we'll never get to eat ice cream if you don't let me pay for it, it will that 10 seconds and you'll have it back." I said, and she finally handed it to me
I paid for it, and we walked around the outdoor mall. It was still very cold, but we still walked, because this kid wanted ice cream in the cold.
We walked into a Dairy Queen, and I wasn't hungry so I kneeled down and asked Laura.
"Are you sure you want ice cream? It's cold and your mom will kill me."
"Fries" she said preoccupied by her toy
Reed said she wasn't hungry as well so I got her fries, and we waited for her to eat. She was sitting on reeds lap while eating her fries, and taking breaks to play with her toy.
Reed and I didn't talk there, on the way home, and putting Laura to sleep. We just nodded or shook our head at each other for communication.
We walked into my room, I threw all my shit on a table, and plopped down on my bed. Reed followed and let out a sigh before turning to me.
"We already talked, what is wrong?" She asked
"It's nothing"
"Jade there's something wrong just say it"
"Reed I said it's noth-"
"Jade!... Jade, just fucking say it, you can't go a whole day quiet, barely talking to me, and say nothing is wrong."
"Reed, I really don't want to talking about this right now"
"We'll I do, you're acting like this but you don't wanna tell me why."
"Because reed, ugh you really want to know?"
"Yes Jade"
"Ima just be blunt, I don't want to come out as selfish in a relationship, but I want to be truthful one . I'm scared of you, we'll not you, your mood swings, and outbursts. I'm scared when we have conversations like this, and I'm scared when you raise your voice. I don't want to come out mad or look like I have hatred for you, but today I tried not to say much just in case you disagreed." I said, and turned away from her
"Is that really how you feel?" She asked looking over at me
"I love you, but yeah" I said, and could immediately feel the tension
She got up, and tried to walk out
"Reed wait" I said grabbing my hand
She pulled away, and I grabbed her arm
"Reed I'm sorry-"
"You really feel like I want to hurt you!" She said getting up in my face angrily
I stepped back a couple of times, and she just kept coming back up to me.
"I'm not doing this on purpose Jade!" She said grabbing my arms, and shaking me
I leaned away from her face trying to get away from her
My eyes widened when she pulled me closer to her
"Reed let go of me" I said closing my eyes shut
Her face twitched a little, and dropped before she let me go, and left the house.
I caught my breath, and heard the familiar sound of her car speeding out the neighborhood.
I fell down on my bed, and caught my breath. She really scared me today, I thought she was going to fucking punch me or something.
