{COMPLETED} Quarantining With You (ManxMan)

Chapter 34: Cancelled Plans

            ‼️Jeremy's P.OV‼️

        
I can't even lie. No matter how much I tried to look over the situation or how hard I put in the work for overtime in thinking my positive thoughts could outweigh the negative, that ship was sinking terribly.

       I know they say...never dwell on your past or it will slow you down, do what you can now, prepare for the future, and all that old bullshit. Believe me, that's what I thought I  was doing but I can't seem to truly clear my mind.
   
           Also, I called it bullshit, because it is. You see what I'm going through, so what human in their right fuckin' mind hasn't dwell in their past at least once or twice if not multiple times when they're freshly upset?

That would be a lie if they said otherwise, especially when you fuck up the way that I did.

    I can't even sit down and be humble. It was hard enough being patient.

       I regret last night. I regret cowering out the way that I did. I regret pushing my true feelings to the side, because I wasn't as bold as I thought it was.

       I regret it all.

       Trevor was right about me. I physically had the muscles but mentally I was still the weak ass teen that thought he needed to be in a gang to be respected.

    I know I said today was a new day, meaning new moves, but damn, forgive me for being hypocritical, because I just simply could not move on.

    It doesn't help when I'm being constantly reminded of the one person I love and care about from simple things like a basketball, my 2K game, body wash, or even the movie, Creed.

   Fuck, and it's even worse when it seems like every fucking song on the radio is about him, or am I just listening too hard? Either way, Trevor is on my mind, heavily.

      I felt like I haven't seen him in years. That's just how slow this day is going by without him.

   
I couldn't even ignore my denial of dwelling. Apparently the positive thinking god's hated me.

        Man, if you could understand how I feel right now, Bruh!

    I felt like I won 250 Million dollars only to bet it all and lose it all.

       I didn't even get to see Trevor leave this morning. I didn't even feel him moving in the bed. He was that smooth. It was almost as if I slept alone last night.

     Unless...?

    Nah, he was there, because I woke up in the middle of the night and cuddled with him.

       I just missed him.
     
      The shit was crazy.

Stupid ass me, I just had to be a sleepy ass nigga and miss out on my chance to make things right and possibly try it again. 

    Maybe, last night was just bad timing. Yeah, that's it, because I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

        Besides, today was still a new day. I had a lot of time, but I didn't feel like I did. 

   
     I wanna call him.

I wanna hear his voice, but he might still be cutting hair, and that wouldn't be cool of me to disturb him...

    ...is something a sucker would say.

   Fuck all that, nigga. I miss you, I'm sorry, and you gone talk to me, goddamn it.